On Life and Words

Okay, Everyone... Parenting is, hands down, the hardest job you'll ever have in your life. Every individual who has raised a child knows this. From birth and through your child's adulthood, parenting is hard. Children don't come with instruction manuals. Heaven knows, if that were the case, then the journey of parenthood would be so much easier. That's just not the way parenting works, however. I remember be a young, teenage mother-to-be... Very determined to try to raise my children right and determined to prove everyone wrong. To prove, in fact, that teenage mothers can still be good mothers. I devoured parenting book after parenting book. I was determined to not make all the same mistakes my own parents had. To, in fact, be a superior parent than they had been. Then my oldest child was born. And when my oldest child was about 6 months old, I proceeded to throw out each and every one of those parenting books. Why? Not because I had learned to be a perfect parent (H...

On April 20th, 2018... my life changed (again!) in a split second. My ex-husband called to tell me that his wife had been in a car accident while bringing our 3 boys down to my house. My heart. My world. Literally stopped. Everything suspended for a moment as I struggled to wrap my mind around what I was hearing and tried to grasp the severity of the situation. There are no words to say in a situation like this. Nothing comes to mind. You can't focus on a single thought or word, but also grasp at every single word or thought. Struggling to hang on to anything you can, to try to make sense of something so utterly unexpected as to be unbelievable.  In the ensuing chaos, I realized that I'd been in the shower when the call came through.... had I? Really? Did I remember to shut the lights off? Did I hang my towel? I'd left conditioner in my hair and one leg unshaven as I threw whatever clothes I had on and my new husband and I rushed out the door to get to the accident sce...

As moms, even when we're doing everything "right," we tend to feel an irrational "guilt" that we're not good enough. It's tragic,  really, that most poor parenting comes from our own insecurities and unreasonable guilt.  Even when there's truly an issue with our parenting,  that irrational guilt or thinking we're the worst will keep us from seeking outside help. Not just from fear of being judged, but because we're already judging ourselves.

As 2015 gets off to a start, it's already shaping up to be a rocky few months... here's my thought process right now. Men, if you don't want kids or to be a father, wrap up your "toy." You don't earn man points or respect simply because you can impregnate someone or have multiple kids by different women. A real MAN will help support his children financially and will be involved in his children's lives. I never wanted to be a single parent. It's really difficult to try to b e in the role of both mom AND dad. But, I do my best. At the end of the day, my kids will respect that and appreciate it. I will teach my daughters to be self sufficient and to depend on only themselves, don't expect or trust a man to do it for you. I will teach ALL of my children the importance of financial and relationship stability before having children. And I will teach my sons to be decent men, to know the importance of truth and monogamy... and for pete's sake, n...