On Life and Words

So it had occurred to me that for most of my adult life, I've been living in a vacuum. I didn't see the entire big picture of things, which made decision-making a little easier than it should have been. In some cases, I really and truly made no conscious decision. For many years, I lacked a sense of self-awareness and lacked any real self-esteem. Which led me to the place I am now. For the most part, although it wasn't a conscious decision on my part, I simply allowed things to happen around me. I allowed others to make decisions for me. I have been living in a vacuum and having no real sense of time or sense of urgency concerning much of anything in my life. I hid behind spouses and children and used being a wife and mother or being a mother as an excuse to not really do anything with myself or my life. When you give away your power, it's awfully difficult to gain it back. It's a very odd place to find yourself, when you realize that you gave up choices and ...

There comes a point in everyone's life where they begin questioning themselves, their circumstances, how they got to the point they are and they ponder their future. I know this, because I'm doing it myself. I have reached a point in my life where I question all things - both good and bad - and I am making decisions as I go along. A lot of self-inventory has occurred. And I'm still nowhere near finished. I find that I am questioning things about my past, my present and my future. More importantly, I am beginning to truly discover who I am and where I am going in my life, what I want out of my life and what I want for my children. What's most important in a self-inventory is to be completely honest with yourself. When you ask yourself questions, you owe it to yourself to give completely honest answers. This has been a very difficult process for me, because I've had to face a lot of decisions that *I* made and the fact that a lot of those choices led myself dow...

        Too often, we are bombarded with recollections of our past - whether these come in the form of reminiscing with friends or family, places, things or even just self-inventory. If our past is less than stellar, it is all too easy to internalize those mistakes, continuing to hold onto that past and believe that we are too intertwined with our past to ever get past it.         In effect, we begin to believe that we are either a product of our past or that we are still our past. If we do not let go of our past and all of the mistakes we have made while traveling through our life path, then we remain stuck in the past. Believing we are our past and its mistakes, takes us to a point of losing hope and any motivation for moving forward or making changes in our lives.          Which leads to the question of, what do you do when you've lost hope and motiva...