On Life and Words

After the crazy week we've had here, with Sweetie's heart attack, his hospital stay, getting him home, me starting a new job and trying to work around everything else going on, I'm definitely exhausted! I have come to the realization that there are many different levels and types of exhaustion. I think that there are at least three and then there are combinations thereof. Physical, mental and emotional would be the three types of exhaustion and any of them can be extremely draining, but even more so, if you are dealing with a combination of the three. I'm not sure what level I'm at, I just know I'm very tired. I'm just feeling drained and slightly overwhelmed. A simpler word for what I am feeling right now, would be "stress." Yep. Definitely stressed. Life has a funny way of throwing things at you when you least expect it and feel the least equipped to handle it. Knowing or suspecting something could happen and it actually happening are two di...

My boyfriend had a heart attack Wednesday afternoon. It's been a rough week. His heart attack actually started late Tuesday night, but it didn't get bad enough until Wednesday afternoon for him to realize how serious it was and then he finally had me take him to the emergency room. I picked him up from work, dropped him off at the emergency room, went and picked up my kids from school, then I went back to the hospital to find out what was going on with him after I handed the kids off to his sister. When I got to the hospital, they were getting ready to transport him to the Heart Hospital to have a cath procedure done on his heart and put a stint in where a blockage was. So, I rode in the ambulance with him to the Oklahoma Heart Hospital and then waited while he was in surgery. I have never been so worried in my life! The procedure went well and after he made it out of recovery and was put into a room, I finally got to see him. He said, even coming out of anesthetic, that h...

Well, it's been a year since our world was turned upside down and life as we knew it ended. I can think of nothing in my life that has affected me or my family as drastically as the May 20th, 2013 tornado in Moore, Oklahoma. In a single instant, due to circumstances beyond our control and a natural disaster, our way of living was destroyed and our city was destroyed. The outpouring of love, support and emergency efforts from not just our home state, but our country and even the world was amazing. It was awesome to see that there were so many people out there who cared about us and others who lost their homes and way of life. Those emergency support efforts were very much appreciated, not just by us, but by everyone affected by the tornado. While my children and I didn't lose our home specifically, we lost almost everything inside, our vehicle was ruined, and the kids' school was demolished. My children lost classmates and friends, which has proven to be devastating. Du...

I ran a Yahoo Group for many years, with many difficulties over the years. Some of it was stuff simply between members, other stuff was between admins and myself. Over time, the group simply fizzled out, especially as it couldn't take the pressure of issues I myself (as the group owner and primary admin) was having and disputes about the group and focus of the group. I see here, a great group with a potential to be a completely awesome place for support for everyone.  What troubles me is the seeming discord between admins and former admins, not simply about how much one should pull their own weight or what each one should do, but also about the purpose or goal of the group. To me, a place of support, is just that. A place of support. Where, members support one another through common issues and realize that they are not alone. I may have this entirely wrong or my memory might be off, but I don't remember during my time running my Yahoo groups ever expecting an admin to be ...

Depression is a debilitating disease. It is a constant way of living, which isn't even living, for those who suffer from it. When you have depression - in any shape or form - regardless of the cause, it can make life almost impossible to deal with or cope. A person suffering from depression is unable to deal with basic situations or basic emotions. If you are dealing with depression, it can feel much like an invisible hand is squeezing the life out of you, as if you are stuck under a boulder and can't get out from under it. There's no real way to fully describe just how deeply depression affects someone to another person who has never dealt with depression. To a person who has never dealt with depression, someone with depression can seem "weak" or it can be difficult to understand why the depressed individual simply doesn't "snap out of it." This is where education when it comes to mental health issues is so important. Even if you do not suffer fr...

Well, it's Sunday evening, already! Where do the weekends go? It seems like there's never any downtime. During the week, there's school, the kids' schoolwork, working and just taking care of the household. On weekends, that's when the kids and I get to (hopefully) do something fun and catch up on any extra errands or chores. Seems like we are constantly on the move, even when there's not much that really needs done. Or is that just the way parenthood - especially SINGLE parenthood - goes? I think that being a parent - whether single, with a partner, working, staying at home, etc... it's all hard. The hardest job one will ever have. And it is one of the most under-appreciated or under-recognized jobs that a person can have. The kids and I are always relieved when the weekends come and there doesn't seem to be quite as much to do, yet we never seem to have that down-time that we need and want. :sigh: I don't know about you, but my days are definit...