Publishing Through Amazon for Kindle

So as I am working on both of my book manuscripts, I find myself searching more and more for information about publishing through Amazon for Kindle. I am getting closer to my goal. At least ONE of my books will be published by Winter 2013/2014.

Which leads me to some issues. I'm really having difficulty understanding the formatting issues and wondering about pricing and marketing your book. Yep, pretty much all of it. Has anyone out there ever published through Amazon for Kindle? If you have, can you please share your experiences with me?

I know I will get it figured out, but with my new school semester starting in a matter of weeks, my kids getting ready for back to school and also trying to write for various websites to earn money, I am feeling slightly overwhelmed and feeling as though maybe I might have bitten off more than I can chew.

If anyone has any advice or input for me, I'd greatly appreciate it. Otherwise, I'm just very busy today, keeping up with kids, making sure the house is clean and trying to get some more writing done!

On Living in a Vacuum

So it had occurred to me that for most of my adult life, I've been living in a vacuum. I didn't see the entire big picture of things, which made decision-making a little easier than it should have been. In some cases, I really and truly made no conscious decision.

For many years, I lacked a sense of self-awareness and lacked any real self-esteem. Which led me to the place I am now. For the most part, although it wasn't a conscious decision on my part, I simply allowed things to happen around me. I allowed others to make decisions for me.

I have been living in a vacuum and having no real sense of time or sense of urgency concerning much of anything in my life. I hid behind spouses and children and used being a wife and mother or being a mother as an excuse to not really do anything with myself or my life.

When you give away your power, it's awfully difficult to gain it back. It's a very odd place to find yourself, when you realize that you gave up choices and control of yourself and your life simply because you had no idea how to make necessary decisions or because you had no idea how certain choices could or would affect your life.

The impact of my past actions or inactions has finally hit me in a way that I can no longer ignore. While I refuse to beat myself up for my past and refuse to live in said past, I do have to take responsibility and acknowledge that I certainly have had more to do with how things have turned out than I thought.

What a sobering thought. That I had more control than I believed at the time. And I'm now having to come to terms with the fact that I really did live in a naïve fashion. I'm all for positive thinking and for believing things will turn out for the best, but there's absolutely no reason - or excuse - to live like an ostrich with her head in the sand.

The most dangerous part of living as if in a vacuum is that while you're busy being oblivious and naïve, life is simply going along at warp speed and if you aren't careful, it goes in the wrong direction.

It takes a strong person to pull the plug on the vacuum and start navigating your own life. Some mistakes can never be corrected, while others are extremely difficult to change once they've begun to snowball. I am definitely stronger than I ever thought possible, but I am learning as I go... and I know that I am still not as strong as I need to be.

But at least the vacuum is no longer running, I'm no longer trapped inside. It's much better to be the one pushing the vacuum than simply riding inside.
 

Housecleaning Today

 Nothing much to say today. Not feeling a motivation to write. Just going to do some house-cleaning and steam-cleaning today.


Have a wonderful Monday everyone!!

Beginning Self-Inventory

There comes a point in everyone's life where they begin questioning themselves, their circumstances, how they got to the point they are and they ponder their future.

I know this, because I'm doing it myself. I have reached a point in my life where I question all things - both good and bad - and I am making decisions as I go along.

A lot of self-inventory has occurred. And I'm still nowhere near finished. I find that I am questioning things about my past, my present and my future. More importantly, I am beginning to truly discover who I am and where I am going in my life, what I want out of my life and what I want for my children.

What's most important in a self-inventory is to be completely honest with yourself. When you ask yourself questions, you owe it to yourself to give completely honest answers. This has been a very difficult process for me, because I've had to face a lot of decisions that *I* made and the fact that a lot of those choices led myself down some very wrong paths in my life.

It's so easy to blame others or to use excuses when we don't want to face the flaws within ourselves or accept the decisions we've made as our own. I'm not talking about tearing yourself down or hating yourself, just honest acceptance and accountability.

When you reach the point of honesty and openness with YOURSELF, then making the right choices for yourself is a whole lot easier. I find myself crying and laughing at times, sometimes at the same time, but yet, I'm still here and I'm moving forward. This time, I think it's in the right direction. Time will tell, but at least I feel good about the steps I'm taking.

A big, positive change in a positive direction. Another day, another chance. Sometimes another chance and hope are all we have to hold onto.

 

A Precious Gift

Yesterday, my children and I attended a function for their school that they had attended before the May 20th tornado. The school is no longer there and they are in the process of rebuilding it.

A large local church hosted both schools that were demolished for this event. The children were all given a free copy of their school yearbook, new packages of school portraits, a handmade quilt or blanket and a teddy bear.

You see, those who brought this event about, realized the importance of closure and of trying to maintain a sense of normalcy in the wake of a disaster. The children were elated to see some of their friends again and to see their teachers, principal and other faculty members from their school.

For all of us, this event brought a sense of healing and a bit of closure to the day when our lives changed forever. There was laughter, relief, tears of joy, tears of pain for those lost and of course, the overwhelming sense of thankfulness that we were all able to attend this event and that we were all healing.

When my 9 year old daughter broke down into tears at one point, while signing a lost student's yearbook that was going to be given to the child's parents, I found myself on the edge of totally losing my composure. I found myself crying with her. And although for a moment I was concerned about "losing it" in public, I realized that no one there was going to judge my daughter or myself for showing those emotions - they all felt the same thing.

Which leads me to the point I was at when the children and I stopped to visit with some friends after we left the event. We found ourselves watching our children play and discussing our thoughts and emotions in the aftermath of the tornado. Each of us felt that we were all blessed to have come through the tornado safely, even though we lost our possessions.

"Lucky" isn't a word that comes even close to describing the emotions we feel. We were blessed, with the gift of safety and the gift of another day, another chance.

When the worst happens, we often wonder why we were spared when others weren't, we can feel guilty for surviving or we question why the event even happened at all. The truth is, there are simply no good answers for those questions, there are no explanations to assuage our guilt for feeling "lucky."

The conclusion that I've reached is that sometimes there are no good reasons for why things happen or why they happen to certain people. I have just realized that each and every day of our lives is a precious gift, something to be thankful for and that each day is a new beginning. Today is a gift that is too precious to waste, yesterday is another stepping stone in our past path.

This morning, I am thankful that my children and I are alive and safe. I recognize this day as another gift that's been given. What do you have to be thankful for today?

 

Finding Hope Within Darkness

  Anyone who has gone through a traumatic event personally knows that finding hope within these events can seem almost impossible. We might even, in the aftermath of trauma, find ourselves resenting those who seem "cheerful" and upbeat. It might seem ludicrous for someone to suggest that we find hope in something that has seemingly ripped our lives apart.

   For me personally, I know that finding hope in darkness can be extremely difficult. I have found myself in the position of resenting those who attempt to offer comfort or support in the form of hope.

   During times of crisis, it can be very easy to turn a blind eye to anything even remotely close to positive or hopeful, it is almost automatic to become jealous of those who seemingly are better off than we are. In the aftermath of the May 20th, 2013 Tornado that ripped Moore, Oklahoma apart, I saw this first-hand. I even -gasp!- felt some of those same emotions myself.

   This is the point where it becomes important to have a positive perspective on reality and keep gauging your own emotions and reactions. I found myself becoming resentful of those who were trying to help, found myself resentful of those who hadn't lost as much as I had, I found my emotions dramatically off-kilter. I cried, laughed, got angry, got sad, all at the same time.

  Although I feel I was reasonably quick to find hope in the situation, despite the circumstances that surrounded myself and my children, I know I have still had a difficult time holding onto that hope.

   You see, when we're trying to find hope in the darkness, we keep looking for hope externally. When, in reality, that hope is often to be found inside of us. A tiny spark that will ignite, if we simply look for it. Sometimes it is a simple word or action from someone else that lights the fire of hope, other times it is when we take a step back, evaluate our situation and realize that we have some sort of option to keep moving forward.
 
   Hope comes in all shapes and sizes. It can be in the form of volunteers offering help and support after a natural disaster, an understanding neighbor who has gone through the same thing you have, a quiet moment of self-reflection where one realizes that they are still alive and that they can make their life better than it was before - hope is ever-changing and everlasting, as long as we acknowledge its presence.

   To find hope in the darkness, all you have to do is close your eyes to the darkness and look inside yourself. Find that tiny flame and ignite the fire of hope. Hope can do amazing things and can help you get through the worst of times.

   Where do you find your hope within the darkness?

Simply Be Yourself, Not Your Past

        Too often, we are bombarded with recollections of our past - whether these come in the form of reminiscing with friends or family, places, things or even just self-inventory. If our past is less than stellar, it is all too easy to internalize those mistakes, continuing to hold onto that past and believe that we are too intertwined with our past to ever get past it.

        In effect, we begin to believe that we are either a product of our past or that we are still our past. If we do not let go of our past and all of the mistakes we have made while traveling through our life path, then we remain stuck in the past. Believing we are our past and its mistakes, takes us to a point of losing hope and any motivation for moving forward or making changes in our lives.

         Which leads to the question of, what do you do when you've lost hope and motivation? Take a self-inventory. Look at yourself, those around you and past choices you've made. Realize that you have more options that you have ever really thought possible and recognize that you are where you are now due to choices that you yourself have made.

      One of the most important things you can do for yourself is to realize that you are not the person you were in your past. Each moment that passes, is another step away from the person you were yesterday, the day before, weeks, months and years before. When we realize that we are not the person who made those mistakes, it becomes easier to make the right decisions and to follow the path best suited to reach our goals.

      An amazing part of being a human being is the ability to make mistakes, while being able to learn from those mistakes so that we can become the person we want to be and have the life we truly want. If you find yourself in a position of being unable to make a decision or choose between two different paths, think back to past situations and your reactions to them.

     We often do the most growing and make the best choices for ourselves in the midst of crisis, as long as we are willing to open our eyes to our own flaws and mistakes of our past. Choosing to put your past behind you and realizing that you are who you are today due to your past, goes a long way toward letting go and finding your true self.

      Once you find your true self or know who it is you want to be, you can find hope again, set goals and start taking the steps to get the life you want for yourself.
    
      
     

 

To New Beginnings....

   There's a time and a place for everything, even if we don't always know the reason. And the simple fact is, we may never know the reason why things happen the way do.

    After many years of struggling with the same problems over and over, fighting the same battles over and over, a recent natural disaster that ripped through my hometown forced me to take a long, hard look at myself and realize that while the tornado might have ruined "life as I know it," there was actually a blessing in disguise.

     In the wake of the trauma to our lives, my children and I are now starting over. For all of us, this is going to be a good thing. Waking up one day to realize that life is precious and short can be the wake-up call that one needs to attempt to change the things that previously felt unmanageable or uncontrollable.

    There has been a lot of chaos and unnecessary drama in my life the last few years. Realizing that most of it came from choices I made has been a bitter pill to swallow. But, knowing that I have made some very wrong choices over the years and knowing that while I can't change the past, I can take things one step at a time in the right direction now.

   To me, that is the very meaning of hope. There is hope for a better life, for better choices and the knowing that I am the one who needs to make those choices to change the future for the better. Add a few dreams and goals, then get started. It's really as simple and complex as that.

   We are each in control of our own lives and the paths we take. There is no blame to be placed on others and their actions. How often it is, that we refuse to see that simply making one choice (or several) is what put us where we currently sit.

    So, with this knowledge in mind, I take things one step at a time and am on a path to a new beginning. Starting over isn't fun, it's a lot of work and takes a lot of mental and emotional energy. However, setting goals and keeping dreams going is how we ultimately find that place of peace within ourselves and find the life we always wanted.

   So, what's stopping you from making a few different choices and making a new beginning?