On Life and Words

So, if you've followed me for any length of time, you already know I have 9 children... ranging in ages from 19, down to age 2 1/2. I had my first 5 children within 5 years of each other... then spaced out numbers 6 and 7 out over another 5 years. I had baby number 8 when baby number 7 was 5, baby number 9 followed 16 months later. My life is pure insanity sometimes... even the older ones who don't live with me can contribute to this... Mom's life is filled with stress and worry for all of her children. I absolutely adore all of my children - from the semi-bratty teenagers, all the way down to my littlest miniature dictator toddler. However, they completely exhaust me! The toddlers, that is. With two toddlers in the house - ages 3 and 2, my life is absolutely never boring. They are always getting into things, fussing over the same toy, loudly shouting the words "NO!!" or "MINE!" over things that are most definitely not theirs or over things that they ...

Okay, Everyone... Parenting is, hands down, the hardest job you'll ever have in your life. Every individual who has raised a child knows this. From birth and through your child's adulthood, parenting is hard. Children don't come with instruction manuals. Heaven knows, if that were the case, then the journey of parenthood would be so much easier. That's just not the way parenting works, however. I remember be a young, teenage mother-to-be... Very determined to try to raise my children right and determined to prove everyone wrong. To prove, in fact, that teenage mothers can still be good mothers. I devoured parenting book after parenting book. I was determined to not make all the same mistakes my own parents had. To, in fact, be a superior parent than they had been. Then my oldest child was born. And when my oldest child was about 6 months old, I proceeded to throw out each and every one of those parenting books. Why? Not because I had learned to be a perfect parent (H...

So recently I made a pretty drastic (for me) change. I moved 2 hours from where I was living and moved into a 5th wheel camper. There were multiple reasons for doing so... But I'll get into those at another time. But for now... I'm adjusting to living in a smaller space with my littles and my teenage daughter. We had too much "stuff" anyway, so now is as good a time as any to learn to declutter. I'm currently waiting to start a job. My 3 year old had surgery a week and a half ago to get his tonsils and adenoids taken out. His post-op appointment is at the 2 week mark, so then I can focus on going back to work. Money is tight, stress is a little high... But for the first time in my life, I'm finding peace and don't feel a sense of dread about what the future holds. I've taken to calling the camper my "tiny house" or "gypsy trailer." I'm viewing this as an adventure.. Not yet another restart. It's actually both, but I'...

On April 20th, 2018... my life changed (again!) in a split second. My ex-husband called to tell me that his wife had been in a car accident while bringing our 3 boys down to my house. My heart. My world. Literally stopped. Everything suspended for a moment as I struggled to wrap my mind around what I was hearing and tried to grasp the severity of the situation. There are no words to say in a situation like this. Nothing comes to mind. You can't focus on a single thought or word, but also grasp at every single word or thought. Struggling to hang on to anything you can, to try to make sense of something so utterly unexpected as to be unbelievable.  In the ensuing chaos, I realized that I'd been in the shower when the call came through.... had I? Really? Did I remember to shut the lights off? Did I hang my towel? I'd left conditioner in my hair and one leg unshaven as I threw whatever clothes I had on and my new husband and I rushed out the door to get to the accident sce...

I have had a recent epiphany. After several months of stress and many unexpected changes, I've found myself in the position of finally needing to slow myself down. As someone who struggles with severe anxiety, as well as chronic pain and arthritis, I find myself having days that are truly a struggle to get through.  I find myself struggling to get showered and changed for the day, struggling to keep up with two toddlers and seven other kids who all need something different from me. The simplest tasks keep me busy, I struggle to get everything done that I feel I need to get done. When it hurts to walk because your body is basically attacking itself or your chest is hurting and you can barely breathe due to being anxious or stressed, the effects can be completely crippling. I miss feeling like a normal person, I miss being able to do whatever I wanted or needed to do without feeling like my own body hates me and is imploding on itself. When I feel as though I'm ready to jump o...

Just because someone receives foodstamps doesn't mean that they don't work or that they're lazy. I wish people would stop with the ignorant assumptions.  There are huge amounts of people who receive foodstamps who DO work. Many of them are in the class that most people forget about "the working poor."  With the high costs of living in most areas and the lack of decent paying jobs, it's almost impossible for many people to live without some type of assistance. No matter how much they work.  There are then those who DON'T qualify for foodstamps that make a "liveable" wage but they have to pay higher costs to get medical covzerage or pay for medicines. Some people have to pay high payments on a not worth it car, just to be able to get to that low paying job to be able to survive. And then they have huge costs to be able to have medical coverage or insurance or to pay for their medications. It drives me crazy that people assume people who receive...

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I have been a horrible blogger lately. I know I have. I think that sometimes, we let life get in the way of living life or of doing those things that we enjoy. I'm also horribly behind on my second book right now. I have been slowly working on it here and there, but just now finally getting truly motivated to get it finished. My second book is called "Finding Your Place in Life," I am hoping to have it completed by the end of the first week of March.  It's been a long time coming, considering I started working on both of my book manuscripts a long time ago. But, I wanted to make sure that I said what I wanted to say and that I expressed myself appropriately. It takes a lot of time and effort to write, especially when one has to go back and edit and re-edit or delete entire paragraphs, just to get one point across the right way. I'm not so certain that I've managed to do this correctly, but, I'm a work in progress, and so is my writing.

As 2015 gets off to a start, it's already shaping up to be a rocky few months... here's my thought process right now. Men, if you don't want kids or to be a father, wrap up your "toy." You don't earn man points or respect simply because you can impregnate someone or have multiple kids by different women. A real MAN will help support his children financially and will be involved in his children's lives. I never wanted to be a single parent. It's really difficult to try to b e in the role of both mom AND dad. But, I do my best. At the end of the day, my kids will respect that and appreciate it. I will teach my daughters to be self sufficient and to depend on only themselves, don't expect or trust a man to do it for you. I will teach ALL of my children the importance of financial and relationship stability before having children. And I will teach my sons to be decent men, to know the importance of truth and monogamy... and for pete's sake, n...

We live in a society that seems to be largely focused on monetary wealth and material things. Too often, we focus so much on earning money and trying to get "ahead" that we don't realize that we're spending our time on making and spending money, rather than spending that time doing things we actually enjoy or with our loved ones. If you have to ask yourself if you are too focused on acquiring wealth and material things, chances are, you are. Instead of worrying about what you don't have or trying so hard to acquire that which you do not have, try being thankful for what you do have and asking yourself if that which you are striving for is really something you NEED. Can you make do with less? Can you make do without that which you are working so hard to acquire? There are a few basic necessities in life - food, clothing, shelter, transportation... These do not have to be elaborate, name-brand or "fancy. " We only need that which sustains us and allows ...

I'm feeling a bit out of sorts lately, so I haven't spent much time writing at all. First, I've been, quite literally, sick and tired. Between a massive headache that never quite seems to go away, and a fever and chills that keeps coming back, I have just felt awful. All that aside. I still have to work, so when I wasn't running a fever, I was still trying to work. Yup. Didn't work as well as I had hoped. Im still behind on work, totally lost focus on my writing and I'm still not feeling well. Yuck. But enough of my complaining... I've been pondering a few things for awhile now and I'm not exactly sure where they tie in to any of my goals or hopes, dreams or even my basic ideals. We all know that I am one to discuss positivity, optimism and making a positive mark on the world.  But what about intentional living? That is, living with positive intent and purpose. Are we each doing so? Somehow, I doubt that we are. In a world filled with a focu...

I joined ChatAbout several months ago, then proceeded to not really do much of anything on there until recently. I have been absolutely amazed at how much fun ChatAbout is! ChatAbout has a great administration team, they pay rewards out very quickly and it's really great getting to know other members and see everyone else's viewpoints on everyday topics. In case you don't know what ChatAbout is, it is a website in which you earn points for chatting, posting articles and reviews, commenting on news articles and pictures, taking surveys, etc. There are even sections to listen to music or watch videos to earn points. I'm sure that I'm forgetting a few other features or sections, but you really should check it out. Since I joined ChatAbout and began participating, I have been pleasantly surprised to  find that there is plenty to do to keep you busy on the site, interested and engaged with it, and the points add up pretty quickly. I would recommend ChatAbout not onl...

I stayed up way too late last night. Actually, it was 2:30AM whenever I finally went to bed. I have no idea why I feel the need to do things like that, because all it does is make me tired. Then, because I slept in this morning because of being up too late last night, I ended up not getting as much done as I had planned on doing. I am planning on going to bed early tonight. I have to work tomorrow and need to be at full capacity and at full energy to deal with my patients and get everything done that I need to, especially since tomorrow is Friday. I don't know why I do things that make me tired, especially whenever I know better.

So I had a long day today. Complete craziness. I didn't even work all that hard at my job, but between the heat outside and being in and out of air conditioning and my hot vehicle, I am just completely drained. I came home between clients today and pit pork chops and brown gravy into the crock pot, now Im making mashed potatoes and Brussels sprouts to go with the pork chops. An easy enough dinner and something that I know everyone will eat. I better start brushing up on my menu and shopping plans and getting things situated, so that I can keep meals on the table at normal times once school starts back up.   I don't know why I get so tired so easily lately, I guess that's just part of not being as young anymore and also part of my children getting a little bit older. Then, between work, school and raising kids who are in school, while also trying to maintain a household, I feel like I just never have enough time to get things done. Ah, such is life.  Have a grea...

Well, it's been a crazy few days. Between an impromptu road trip to go and get my daughter from her dad's house 700 miles away, driving back, trying to catch some sleep, settle my daughter back in and then work, I'm completely exhausted. I spent this evening trying to catch up on some writing and I've ended up sitting here far longer than I intended. I'm going to be very tired tomorrow. So, since I'm already up past the time I probably should have been and I DO have to work tomorrow, I guess I had better go to bed. I still feel like I haven't gotten as much accomplished as I wanted to, but I'm going to work on my schedule and routine tomorrow and see what I can get done. If I go to bed as soon as I finish this post, I should get enough sleep to get me through tomorrow. Goodnight World, Goodnight Everyone! Sweet dreams. And remember, tomorrow is another day, another chance. Always keep hope and live with light and love.

If you have nothing to strive for, then you have no goals or hopes for your life. If you have no goals or hopes, then what is the purpose of existence? We all have a purpose and destination in our lives, even when we may not realize what exactly that is. Sometimes, people never figure out what exactly their purpose for being is or was, but they have made a large impact in ways that they could never even begin to understand. We are all here for a reason. Every challenge we face, happens for a reason. There's no other way to look at life and the challenges in life that we face. If we simply believe that things just happen and that we're just sitting here wandering aimlessly in the world, then we have no motivation or hope of ever reaching our goals, finding our hopes and dreams. This would make our lives pointless. And who wants to live a pointless life? Every day that we live is another chance to get it right, another chance to do something to make a difference in our own l...

You know, I don't understand what is wrong with people. I don't get why some people have to be so mean to other people or why they feel the need to be hateful or rude to those they supposedly love. Even if you don't particularly like someone, there's never an excuse to throw negativity out at them. If they are truly a bad person or have done something wrong, I really believe that Karma will come back and bite them in the ass, so why waste energy on negativity towards that person? I really wish people wouldn't toss out negativity at others, especially when it's done as a defense mechanism to keep someone at a distance from them or as a way to hurt them before they themselves get hurt. I really wish that people could just learn to be nice and learn to treat others BETTER than they themselves would want to be treated. I get so tired of people who are constantly in a negative mind-set or who constantly throw out negativity at others. Am I the only person who fe...

Insanity happens. Yup. Truly. There's simply no way to avoid insanity or chaos as long as you are alive. Our daily lives are unpredictable and anything can happen in a single moment. This is why it's important to do your best to keep yourself sane and as un-stressed as possible when dealing with daily life. If you go through your daily life feeling crazy and being stressed, you're going to wind up having a mental collapse or barely surviving unexpected life events. It's absolutely important to your sanity to take care of yourself first and foremost. I know that might sound selfish to some people, but you will be absolutely no good for anyone else or in a situation that requires you to be strong if you aren't eating correctly, getting enough sleep or exercising regularly. If you don't take care of you, then you can't take care of anyone else - even when it's needed. So, take good care of your body, it's the only one you've got or will ever have...

Yep. I've decided that confusion is an inevitable part of life. Especially when it comes to interpersonal relationships and choosing your own personal path in life. What does one do whenever they are faced with numerous choices and potential paths and each outcome would be drastically different than another? Usually, I recommend that you sit down and write lists of pros and cons for each potential choice you could make. However, sometimes this simply isn't enough. Especially when deep emotions are involved - the kind of emotions that one can't get over or get around, the kind of emotions that you can't push to the back while you make a decision. So what does one do whenever they are faced with this kind of choice? Honestly, I have no idea whatsoever. If you're facing two different choices and both carry such strong emotions that you can't make a decision, what's the deciding factor? I don't know that either. When you feel like you're stuck in mu...

Yep. Divorce or splitting up with a partner isn't easy. Usually, it's extremely volatile, especially if children are involved. Even if you can manage to split with your partner relatively amicably, with little conflict, it's inevitable, if you have children, that there will eventually be a conflict. It's usually true that, at some point or another, your feelings in a relationship will change - from like or love to dislike or hate. If those feelings stay, then divorce or breaking up is inevitable. But, back to my main point. Exes cannot usually be friends. Even when you plan on co-parenting and even if you intend on an amicable relationship with your ex, it's almost impossible to do so without any type of conflict when you have kids. We are all very different individuals. And, even if ending a relationship is amicable or even friendly, it's difficult to maintain that whenever differences or conflicts arise when you are raising children with someone you are no ...