Loving Openly and Honestly

Love is hard. Loving people is harder. We all have a very normal human desire to both love and be loved. The word love is not a noun, it's a verb. This is where many people get so twisted up when dealing with their love for others. Our society tends to consider love a "thing," when it is an *ACTION.*  We often talk of "loving" things - ice cream, pizza, places, etc. That's not love, that is an intense LIKE of something.

Love means we are going to do whatever we can possibly do to ensure another person's happiness or well-being. It is both an action and an emotion. When we love someone, we (hopefully) truly want what is best for them - we want them to be happy, safe, successful, etc. Many times, however, people are quick to use "love" for others as a way to receive love in their own lives. The word love is spoken in an attempt to get the other person to reciprocate. This isn't love.

True love doesn't require that the other person "love" you back. All that is needed for open and honest love of another human being is to desire what is best for them - their happiness, safety, fulfillment, health, success, etc. Honest and open love doesn't demand or expect that the other person will love us back simply because we love them.

The thing about loving openly and honestly is that we can give freely of ourselves and our love for another human being, making no demands or having any expectations. Real love doesn't attempt to get another person to do anything - if anything, this is a form of manipulation and abuse. Honest love says "I'm going to be here for you, I care about you and I only want your happiness and what is best for you - not what I desire or think is best for you."

Please, everyone, stop attempting to use love to get your own needs and desires met - that isn't love and will only result in heartache and frustration for you and those that you love. Be the light, give love freely with no expectations or demands. You'll end up being pleasantly surprised that love will come your way in all the right forms for YOU, if you are loving freely and openly, with honesty, and making no demands on others.

And remember, you can't truly love another person unless you love yourself first.

Find Your Own Happiness

I just thought I'd write a quick "Public Service Announcement" for those of you out there who might be struggling to find real, lasting happiness. You won't find true, lasting happiness if you seek to make another human being responsible for your happiness. While those closest to us can contribute to our happiness - lovers, friends, family, children, etc... our happiness lies within ourselves. Yes, you are the only one who can make yourself happy, and sometimes you have to choose to make yourself happy.

Many people make the mistake in thinking that their happiness lies in external factors - the ideal partner, the "perfect" job, more money in the bank, their dream home, less debt, etc. The list could go on. While accomplishments and achievements can contribute to your happiness, none of these things will matter if you are unhappy with yourself deep inside. You cannot secretly loathe yourself or feel unworthy and then expect to be happy because of material things or your relationships with other people. The only way to be happy is to choose to be happy and to work on loving yourself and nurturing yourself.

If we rely on others to make us happy, we are shortchanging ourselves and doing our loved ones a grave disservice. The tendency to rely on others to make themselves happy, is, why I think our society's divorce rates, homeless rates, unemployment rates, etc... are so high. It all comes back down to broken people expecting others to fix them and then trying to rely on others for their own happiness.

If we would all take more personal responsibility for our own happiness, thoughts and actions - we would find that our world would be a much better place. But for many, this is impossible to do because they spend more time focused on external factors than trying to love themselves and make sure that they, themselves are a whole person. Instead, we find that many people expect others to "complete" them or make them happy.

All this leads to is more broken souls. It is a huge responsibility and burden to put on another human being's heart and soul when you expect them to make you happy. Many people will try to make someone they care about happy, but they are left guessing how or feeling discouraged because they can't. The unhappy individual is left feeling more alone, unhappy and frustrated - thus leading to a breakdown in the relationship, until it eventually ends.

To avoid making other people responsible for your happiness or making them feel responsible for your happiness... First, learn to be happy with yourself and love yourself. Work on finding your inner peace and figure out what you need for your own happiness. Once you make the choice to be happy, then you can figure out what will make you happy for yourself, without relying on another person or placing undue pressure on those that you love.

True happiness and peace comes from within. Not from material things, job or other people. Once you start loving yourself and nurturing yourself, you will be better prepared to seek out your own happiness and be in balance to be able to have that happiness enhanced by the people you choose to put in your life.

Mental Health Awareness

Mental health is a serious issue. It's important to remember that just because someone might be suffering from a mental illness, depressio or other issue, does NOT mean that they are "crazy" or seeking attention. If someone you know is struggling with depression, anxiety, mood disorder or other mental health issue, they need your caring and support... Not ridicule or ignorance.

If you get frustrated with someone because they aren't "normal," you need yo remember that they are just as frustrated as you are and they aren't trying to be difficult. Berating someone or treating them badly won't help and anything or anyone and it could even make the issue worse. Mental illness and depression is real, it's not something that someone can control.

Be aware that someone who is dealing with a mental health issue needs support and understanding. The best thing anyone can do if someone they know is struggling with a mental health issue is to be supportive, patient and understanding... As well as educating themselves about the issue.

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ChatAbout: A Fun Place to Hang Out

I joined ChatAbout several months ago, then proceeded to not really do much of anything on there until recently. I have been absolutely amazed at how much fun ChatAbout is! ChatAbout has a great administration team, they pay rewards out very quickly and it's really great getting to know other members and see everyone else's viewpoints on everyday topics.

In case you don't know what ChatAbout is, it is a website in which you earn points for chatting, posting articles and reviews, commenting on news articles and pictures, taking surveys, etc. There are even sections to listen to music or watch videos to earn points. I'm sure that I'm forgetting a few other features or sections, but you really should check it out.

Since I joined ChatAbout and began participating, I have been pleasantly surprised to  find that there is plenty to do to keep you busy on the site, interested and engaged with it, and the points add up pretty quickly. I would recommend ChatAbout not only for earning the points - which is more like a bonus for me - but also for the participation in a friendly and positive online community.

At ChatAbout, there's quite literally, something for everyone. Almost everyone there is nice and friendly, discussions stay friendly and if something unsuitable pops up, admins handle it right away. If you want to earn a little bit of points for cash or prizes, make new friends and discuss topics that interest you, then ChatAbout is the place to be.

CHECK IT OUT

Drunk People... Have You Ever Noticed?

I don't know if you have ever noticed this or not, but drunk people are supremely obnoxious. Especially if you're sober. I worked in bars off and on for over ten years. One thing I learned was that if you're the sober person and you are dealing with drunks, ANYTHING can happen or anything can be said. It's ridiculous sometimes, just how unreasonable drunk people can get.

While I'm not going to sit here and pretend to be a saint or try to pretend like I've never been drunk in my life, I don't think that you should drink to excess and then use being drunk as an excuse to be obnoxious or mean to people.What it is about alcohol that makes some people just seem to lose their marbles and act stupid? I also don't understand why drunk people are more likely to want to fight than sober people.

I don't know if any of you have noticed this, but when people are drunk, it almost seems as though a hidden part of their normal, basic personality comes out and it may be a part of that person that you really don't like. Why is that? I know alcohol lowers inhibitions and people do things when drunk that they might not do when sober, but why are sober people so much better than drunk people at hiding their true thoughts, feelings or parts of themselves?

And, while I am aware that an inebriated person has no real boundaries or inhibitions, why is it that this part of themselves comes out only when they are drinking? And, if you know you're a pain in the ass or an asshole when you get drunk, why would you continue to drink? Why would you want to put others through that and show off that negative side of yourself? I just don't get it.

People Suck Sometimes

You know, I don't understand what is wrong with people. I don't get why some people have to be so mean to other people or why they feel the need to be hateful or rude to those they supposedly love. Even if you don't particularly like someone, there's never an excuse to throw negativity out at them. If they are truly a bad person or have done something wrong, I really believe that Karma will come back and bite them in the ass, so why waste energy on negativity towards that person?

I really wish people wouldn't toss out negativity at others, especially when it's done as a defense mechanism to keep someone at a distance from them or as a way to hurt them before they themselves get hurt. I really wish that people could just learn to be nice and learn to treat others BETTER than they themselves would want to be treated. I get so tired of people who are constantly in a negative mind-set or who constantly throw out negativity at others.

Am I the only person who feels like this?

Be The Person You Are Meant To Be

We are all meant to be somebody. Perhaps not known throughout the world or famous. Perhaps not known for doing great acts, perhaps we are to be known for our small actions that make a difference. Perhaps we are meant to be the one who stands in the background and supports others. Maybe we're meant to change the world. Each and every one of us has a purpose and a reason for being, a person we are meant to be.

Are you who you are meant to be? How will you know when you are? Do you know who you are meant to be - or are you still trying to figure it out? How do we figure it out and take the path that we are meant to take? No. I don't have the answers. I don't believe that anyone has any of the answers - we all have to figure these things out for ourselves, in the time we are meant to.

Gauge your actions, reactions, your thoughts and emotions - figure out if you are or are becoming, the person you are meant to be. The only way you can find out is if you act and react and pay attention to the things in your life, in your heart, the things in your mind. Only you can know who you are meant to be and only you can know when you have become the person you are meant to be.

All any of us can do is go through life, keep learning and growing, and keep on moving - even if it means that sometimes we have to crawl or drag ourselves through the debris from the storms that life throws at us. Sometimes, I think that we find ourselves and who we are meant to be when we're right smack in the middle of the storm. Then it's up to us to find our way out and keep moving forward.

Be the person you are meant to be. Don't give up until you figure it out. Even when you feel lost, know that you have a purpose and a reason for being who you are and who you are meant to be. 

Depression's Firm Grip

Depression is a debilitating disease. It is a constant way of living, which isn't even living, for those who suffer from it. When you have depression - in any shape or form - regardless of the cause, it can make life almost impossible to deal with or cope. A person suffering from depression is unable to deal with basic situations or basic emotions. If you are dealing with depression, it can feel much like an invisible hand is squeezing the life out of you, as if you are stuck under a boulder and can't get out from under it.

There's no real way to fully describe just how deeply depression affects someone to another person who has never dealt with depression. To a person who has never dealt with depression, someone with depression can seem "weak" or it can be difficult to understand why the depressed individual simply doesn't "snap out of it." This is where education when it comes to mental health issues is so important. Even if you do not suffer from depression, it is important that everyone educates themselves about depression, symptoms of depression and also how to deal with someone who is trying to live with depression.

Depression is a fact of life. Chances are, even if you, a close loved on or a friend doesn't have depression, you are likely to encounter someone in your life who has depression - a coworker, casual acquaintance, etc. It can be important to be empathetic and to keep an open mind when dealing with people. The friendliest and seemingly happiest people can be depressed. To an individual who is depressed, those who are not depressed can seem distant. A depressed person will feel like they are breathing water and drowning while others are living life and breathing air.

If you or someone you love is dealing with depression, it's important to pay attention to warning signs, seek help and educate yourself about depression, symptoms of depression and how to manage and treat depression. If you are depressed, you need to find a support system - find people to talk to, find ways to manage it and keep going. If you know someone who is depressed, educate yourself and help provide a support system for them.

Living with depression isn't easy, but it can be done. Life is too short to be miserable. If you're depressed, find ways to focus on the light and keep moving towards it. If you know someone who is depressed, help them find the light, move towards it, if necessary, be the light for someone else until they can find it again. 

Keeping Touch With Friends

So, recently, I've gotten back in touch with friends I haven't spoken to in months, in some cases, even years. It's been an interesting few months around here. There are those friendships that last through anything and then end abruptly, there are those that don't last a season, there are friendships that remain the same forever and then some are the same even when you aren't in contact regularly.

How many of you out there have friends whom you have known for years, that you may not talk to regularly, a lot of time can pass by, but the friendship hasn't changed when you do get back in touch? For myself, this has been the case with a few of my closest friendships. And those are the people I know I can trust 100%, no matter what.

I think it's always a good idea to stay in touch at least somewhat regularly with close friends, to at least keep up with one another's contact information, should something happen. But close friendships can sometimes be better than family, those friends may end up being your anchor during rough storms in life. You never know.

Two of my closest friends I met during my ex's first deployment, these two ladies helped me get through a lot and vice versa. One of them was also a military wife, one was not. Do I talk to them regularly? Not so much anymore, mainly due to life getting in the way, but I know if I need something that I could call either of them and they'd be there. And they know the same of me.

True friendship is a blessing, there's no worry about back-stabbing and you trust implicitly if you are actually close friends. A close friend is usually closer than a sibling. Cherish those friendships and make the extra effort to stay in touch.

It's Monday Again

Well, Good Morning Everyone, it's Monday again. Why does everyone seem to hate Monday so much? Is it due to (typically) it being the first day of a work week? Is it because most of us hate going back to work after relaxing for 2 days? What is it about Mondays that just tend to make people cringe?

Regardless, today is Monday. The kids and I have stuff to get done, but we aren't overwhelmed with an excessive amount of activity. Just some grocery shopping and a doctor's appointment for my 8 year old son. We may meet up with an old friend we haven't seen in a few years, that would be nice. I really hate losing touch with those I love.

So, as I journey through today, I will keep in mind a quote I read last night;
“Hope is the thing with feathers
That perches in the soul
And sings the tune without the words
And never stops at all.”
― Emily Dickinson

With this in mind, I offer to all of you the gift of hope today. Hope that your day goes well, hope that whatever difficult thing it is that you're struggling with will be resolved, hope that you feel hope in yourself and your future as you travel along today's path.

Happy Monday Everyone!