On Life and Words

 Actually, I pretty much just let life and my depression take over me for awhile. So I stopped writing.  What a shame it is that the times we need people the most we end up isolated? Whether by our own doing or some other circumstance. It’s been a rough year. I’m now over a year since my hysterectomy. I still hurt with any strenuous activity and I have struggled with stomach issues and severe anxiety since my surgery.  Now trying some new medications and a new routine for self-care. We shall see how it goes.  ❤️

Childhood is hard. Adulthood is hard. Being a human being is hard. Being a DECENT human being is even harder.  It's impossible to go through life completely unscathed... no one can do it. Every single moment, every single experience we have... shapes the people that we become. This can be to the better or for the worse. I don't believe that people are born "bad"  or good either one... I think they are all born "neutral" and then their experiences and basic personalities shape them into the people they become. For most of us, we're just you're average, garden variety good person. In my case, I'm a pretty good person who got handed several bad hands in life. I ended up being abused most of my life and now have to deal with the aftermath of being abused, which includes PTSD, dissociative disorder due to Complex Trauma and a host of other mental and emotional issues. The average person walking past me on the street would never be able to see or gu...

I have had a recent epiphany. After several months of stress and many unexpected changes, I've found myself in the position of finally needing to slow myself down. As someone who struggles with severe anxiety, as well as chronic pain and arthritis, I find myself having days that are truly a struggle to get through.  I find myself struggling to get showered and changed for the day, struggling to keep up with two toddlers and seven other kids who all need something different from me. The simplest tasks keep me busy, I struggle to get everything done that I feel I need to get done. When it hurts to walk because your body is basically attacking itself or your chest is hurting and you can barely breathe due to being anxious or stressed, the effects can be completely crippling. I miss feeling like a normal person, I miss being able to do whatever I wanted or needed to do without feeling like my own body hates me and is imploding on itself. When I feel as though I'm ready to jump o...

Mental health is a serious issue. It's important to remember that just because someone might be suffering from a mental illness, depressio or other issue, does NOT mean that they are "crazy" or seeking attention. If someone you know is struggling with depression, anxiety, mood disorder or other mental health issue, they need your caring and support... Not ridicule or ignorance. If you get frustrated with someone because they aren't "normal," you need yo remember that they are just as frustrated as you are and they aren't trying to be difficult. Berating someone or treating them badly won't help and anything or anyone and it could even make the issue worse. Mental illness and depression is real, it's not something that someone can control. Be aware that someone who is dealing with a mental health issue needs support and understanding. The best thing anyone can do if someone they know is struggling with a mental health issue is to be supportiv...

If you or someone you know is suffering from depression, it's important to take the time to get help - for yourself, your loved one(s), whomever. Depression is a very serious issue and can be not just mentally debilitating, but also physically debilitating. Depression doesn't just affect the person suffering - it affects the others around them, affects relationships, jobs, finances, etc. AND, here's another important issue when it comes to depression. If the person suffering from depression is considering suicide, seems suicidal or has made suicidal threats, it's VERY important to seek help immediately. Even when you may feel like the person is just attention-seeking or isn't serious about it, it's important to take the threat of suicide very seriously. A person who is suicidal or who is making threats of suicide isn't merely making threats, they are expressing, at a minimum, a desire to self-harm. Suicide is not the way out, it's not the cure for d...

Life is hard. No doubt about it. Sometimes it can seem very overwhelming. Even to those of us who have "been there, done that" in negative situations or when dealing with negativity in relationships. No single person has their life perfectly together. Even if that's what they want you to think and they try to portray - the fact is, no one is perfect - we all have skeletons in our closets and we all have problems to deal with. Don't look at someone else and what you perceive of their life and assume they have it all together or they have no problems. I assure you, everyone is great at putting on a front, but most people can't allow themselves to be vulnerable and real in front of others, so you don't see what's behind that "front." It all comes down to living life and coping as we go. I have had a really rough week or so, emotionally. I was starting to think that I was either slowly losing my mind or that my mind was already gone - it was jus...

I ran a Yahoo Group for many years, with many difficulties over the years. Some of it was stuff simply between members, other stuff was between admins and myself. Over time, the group simply fizzled out, especially as it couldn't take the pressure of issues I myself (as the group owner and primary admin) was having and disputes about the group and focus of the group. I see here, a great group with a potential to be a completely awesome place for support for everyone.  What troubles me is the seeming discord between admins and former admins, not simply about how much one should pull their own weight or what each one should do, but also about the purpose or goal of the group. To me, a place of support, is just that. A place of support. Where, members support one another through common issues and realize that they are not alone. I may have this entirely wrong or my memory might be off, but I don't remember during my time running my Yahoo groups ever expecting an admin to be ...

Depression is a debilitating disease. It is a constant way of living, which isn't even living, for those who suffer from it. When you have depression - in any shape or form - regardless of the cause, it can make life almost impossible to deal with or cope. A person suffering from depression is unable to deal with basic situations or basic emotions. If you are dealing with depression, it can feel much like an invisible hand is squeezing the life out of you, as if you are stuck under a boulder and can't get out from under it. There's no real way to fully describe just how deeply depression affects someone to another person who has never dealt with depression. To a person who has never dealt with depression, someone with depression can seem "weak" or it can be difficult to understand why the depressed individual simply doesn't "snap out of it." This is where education when it comes to mental health issues is so important. Even if you do not suffer fr...