Suicide Threats

If you or someone you know is suffering from depression, it's important to take the time to get help - for yourself, your loved one(s), whomever. Depression is a very serious issue and can be not just mentally debilitating, but also physically debilitating. Depression doesn't just affect the person suffering - it affects the others around them, affects relationships, jobs, finances, etc.

AND, here's another important issue when it comes to depression. If the person suffering from depression is considering suicide, seems suicidal or has made suicidal threats, it's VERY important to seek help immediately. Even when you may feel like the person is just attention-seeking or isn't serious about it, it's important to take the threat of suicide very seriously. A person who is suicidal or who is making threats of suicide isn't merely making threats, they are expressing, at a minimum, a desire to self-harm.

Suicide is not the way out, it's not the cure for depression. If you know someone who is depressed and they seem suicidal, talk of death or suicide or they have threatened suicide, TAKE IT SERIOUSLY. A person who threatens suicide - even if they aren't serious about it and are attention-seeking - is crying out for help. Please make it a point to try to get them professional help immediately. If you are depressed and/or feeling suicidal, then seek help for yourself.

Suicide is a life or death matter. Literally. And it's not a joke. If you need help, please call call 1-800-273-8255  (National Suicide Prevention Lifeline)

One Week

Well, I'm finally reaching the end of my journey with my first book, "The Truth About Life: Life Lessons from Rock Bottom." It's taken a very long time, several years, in fact, to reach this point. But I'm getting closer to getting finished with my final editing. I'm editing it myself, so I'm sure it won't be perfect, but I do feel like it's a good start, so maybe my next book will be even better.

I have some editing to finish and then I need to finish my conclusion and the final section about myself. I'm not really absolutely certain on this, but I'm thinking I should have it all finished within a week or less. I'm seeing the end in sight and I'm starting to get excited, although I'm definitely very nervous! This book has been a labor of love, a large time investment (as I could find it!) and I am nervous about throwing it out there for others to see and read!

I suppose that most authors feel that way about their books. I guess it's kind of like trying to share a peculiar idea or theory with a group of people and knowing that they may laugh at your idea or think your idea to be crazy. I guess that is one blessing of self-publishing through Amazon, because I can always go back and update it or modify it, if I should feel the need to do so.

While I'm certain that the book is something that will be useful to SOMEONE out there, I'm just not so certain about the number of people who will find it useful or worth reading. I am considering this to be very much like the dream one has about standing in front of a room full of people, only to find themselves naked. Writing a blog is one thing. But a book seems even more personal to me. And I really do feel as though there's a part of one that actually is laid bare before others when they write something.

So, I think it should be done in a week. And here's to hoping I won't wake up and find myself naked and being laughed at in front of a large group of people!

Insomnia Strikes Again

I stayed up way too late last night. Actually, it was 2:30AM whenever I finally went to bed. I have no idea why I feel the need to do things like that, because all it does is make me tired. Then, because I slept in this morning because of being up too late last night, I ended up not getting as much done as I had planned on doing.

I am planning on going to bed early tonight. I have to work tomorrow and need to be at full capacity and at full energy to deal with my patients and get everything done that I need to, especially since tomorrow is Friday. I don't know why I do things that make me tired, especially whenever I know better.

Compassionate Care at The End of Life

I work in the healthcare field. Although I am not a nurse or even a nurse's aid, I deal with patients on a daily basis. All of my patients are elderly. In my job, we call these patients "clients." The thing about it is, I'm not sure that is an entirely accurate term. I can understand from a business or financial point of view that the patients are, in all actuality, clients.

But, I feel like using the term "client" is a way of dehumanizing the patient and also a way to distance the healthcare workers from the people they care for. I can't help but feeling that this is wrong. The end of one's life should be a time where one is celebrating their life and accomplishments, they have lived and learned, earned the respect of others and they should GET that consideration and respect.

Caring for an elderly person can be more difficult that dealing with a child. It isn't that the elderly person is child-like or "immature" it's that we often forget that the elderly are adults and that they have earned the right to respect. Often, caregivers become impatient with those they are caring for, they suffer from stress and burnout themselves, and so they end up becoming indifferent to those that they care for. This is so wrong.

The elderly deserve respect, consideration and compassionate care. It can be difficult for those caring for them to remember that these are people who have lived long lives, have worked for what they have and that many times, the person they are caring for gets just as frustrated with themselves as the caregiver gets with them.

Imagine living your life independently and then slowly or even suddenly, becoming unable to do basic things for yourself. It can be difficult to remember that the elderly have gone from being perfectly capable of caring for themselves and even others, to having to rely on others for basic needs. It can become all too easy to forget that the person we are caring for is just as frustrated as we get, that this person can become confused and that they are often struggling with depression.

It's important to care for the elderly, especially when they are seriously ill or suffering from a debilitating condition such as Alzheimer's or dementia, with as much compassion, empathy and respect as possible. I know that care-giving can be difficult and stressful, perhaps even depressing, but it's important to remember that you play an important role in this person's life and that they are relying on you - whether they want to or not.

Elder care can be demanding and stressful. And while it may be tempting to distance yourself or attempt to remain indifferent to your patient, I really feel like it is important to connect on a human and emotional level with the person(s) you are caring for. If you distance yourself from your patients, it can be difficult to meet their needs. Just make sure to also care for yourself while caring for your patients. But don't attempt to keep your distance.

You are meeting far more than physical needs - many elderly people are lonely, scared, depressed, etc - a compassionate caregiver who has connected can make a world of difference in the quality of life for an individual who is at the end of their life.

I currently care for two lovely elderly women. One is suffering from Alzheimer's disease and dementia and the other is suffering from congestive heart failure. Both of these women are very special and very dear to me. I know at some point, I will lose them. And I will mourn that loss. But I also know that I am a better person for having met them and being a part of their lives, I have learned so much from both of them. They are not only my patients, but my friends.

Ending a Long Day

So I had a long day today. Complete craziness. I didn't even work all that hard at my job, but between the heat outside and being in and out of air conditioning and my hot vehicle, I am just completely drained.

I came home between clients today and pit pork chops and brown gravy into the crock pot, now Im making mashed potatoes and Brussels sprouts to go with the pork chops. An easy enough dinner and something that I know everyone will eat. I better start brushing up on my menu and shopping plans and getting things situated, so that I can keep meals on the table at normal times once school starts back up.

  I don't know why I get so tired so easily lately, I guess that's just part of not being as young anymore and also part of my children getting a little bit older. Then, between work, school and raising kids who are in school, while also trying to maintain a household, I feel like I just never have enough time to get things done. Ah, such is life.

 Have a great evening everyone!

Good Morning, Everyone!

I hope each and every one of you had a good night's rest and that you are ready to face the day with positivity and energy. I am sort of dragging along today, but that's primarily because I stayed up too late writing last night.

I need to keep a better handle on my schedule and try a bit harder to maintain a better routine for myself, so I can be a more effective mother, partner and employee. Not to mention, all the other roles I play in my life. I'm in a weird place right now mentally and emotionally. Not a bad place, just weird.

Feeling like everything is a bit surreal right now. I'll explain later. Just thought I'd take a break from work for a second.

Goodnight World

Well, it's been a crazy few days. Between an impromptu road trip to go and get my daughter from her dad's house 700 miles away, driving back, trying to catch some sleep, settle my daughter back in and then work, I'm completely exhausted. I spent this evening trying to catch up on some writing and I've ended up sitting here far longer than I intended. I'm going to be very tired tomorrow.

So, since I'm already up past the time I probably should have been and I DO have to work tomorrow, I guess I had better go to bed. I still feel like I haven't gotten as much accomplished as I wanted to, but I'm going to work on my schedule and routine tomorrow and see what I can get done. If I go to bed as soon as I finish this post, I should get enough sleep to get me through tomorrow.

Goodnight World, Goodnight Everyone! Sweet dreams. And remember, tomorrow is another day, another chance. Always keep hope and live with light and love.

Reach for Your Goals

If you have nothing to strive for, then you have no goals or hopes for your life. If you have no goals or hopes, then what is the purpose of existence? We all have a purpose and destination in our lives, even when we may not realize what exactly that is. Sometimes, people never figure out what exactly their purpose for being is or was, but they have made a large impact in ways that they could never even begin to understand.

We are all here for a reason. Every challenge we face, happens for a reason. There's no other way to look at life and the challenges in life that we face. If we simply believe that things just happen and that we're just sitting here wandering aimlessly in the world, then we have no motivation or hope of ever reaching our goals, finding our hopes and dreams. This would make our lives pointless. And who wants to live a pointless life?

Every day that we live is another chance to get it right, another chance to do something to make a difference in our own lives and that of another. We come across all sorts of people in our daily lives that may be struggling with the same things that we are, sometimes struggling with things that we couldn't even begin to fathom... It's amazing how the little things can make an impact on another person. We are each where we are when we are supposed to be.

And in context of all of this, I urge you to reach for your goals. Keep reach and keep moving towards them, but never forget compassion or understanding for others. Keep hoping and dreaming, but make sure you spread the hope around and share it with others. Reaching for our goals shouldn't be a purely selfish undertaking, it needs to be done in such a way that we still live with compassion, empathy and that we still connect with others. 

This Much I Do Know

Life is crazy. Sometimes you have a roadblock pop up and you don't know what to do about it, even if only temporarily. Amazingly enough, no matter what that obstacle might be, sometimes if you just wait a moment, you'll find the answer and you'll feel as though you should have seen the answer all along. Sometimes you just have to be patient. I still believe that everything happens for a reason, even if we don't realize that reason at first. Also, exes are almost always exes for a reason.

Book Update: July 15th, 2014

Well, I didn't get my first book published last weekend like I had intended. Funny thing about making plans or setting goals, it's almost as if you're inviting the universe to crash your party and ruin your plans whenever you do this. I am not saying that you shouldn't make plans or set goals, but I am suggesting that you make sure and stay flexible, because if you don't, then you're going to crash and burn whenever something comes up.

And, indeed, something almost always, "comes up." Anyway, back to my book update. I'm getting excited, there is definitely an end in sight on my first book. If I can make the time for editing and finalizing, then I can probably get it published within the next two weeks. Since it is an E-book and for Kindle, publishing through Amazon, it doesn't need to be as long as a classic book or print novel. It's probably not going to be everyone's cup of tea, but it may help someone, which is my intention.

I finally did decide on a title for it, however. The title is going to be  "The Truth About Life: Life Lessons from Rock Bottom."  Yup. I suppose it isn't very original, but I am hoping the title conveys the meaning of the book and my intent. I don't know if I will leave the title at that or not yet, but I think it's definitely a good start. I'm hoping that my book is helpful to someone and I hope the message I am hoping to send out with my book is clear and graspable. 

Anyway, hoping for this coming weekend, if not, by the end of next week. But my new, unset goal, is just for the end of this month. Hey, it's a start and it's progress. 

Tips for Keeping Your Sanity in Daily Life

Insanity happens. Yup. Truly. There's simply no way to avoid insanity or chaos as long as you are alive. Our daily lives are unpredictable and anything can happen in a single moment. This is why it's important to do your best to keep yourself sane and as un-stressed as possible when dealing with daily life. If you go through your daily life feeling crazy and being stressed, you're going to wind up having a mental collapse or barely surviving unexpected life events.

It's absolutely important to your sanity to take care of yourself first and foremost. I know that might sound selfish to some people, but you will be absolutely no good for anyone else or in a situation that requires you to be strong if you aren't eating correctly, getting enough sleep or exercising regularly. If you don't take care of you, then you can't take care of anyone else - even when it's needed. So, take good care of your body, it's the only one you've got or will ever have. Treat your body like the complex machine it is and give it the proper respect and care that it deserves.

Another way to keep your sanity in daily life is to make sure that you have a solid support system. Whether it's family members, close friends or even a counselor or support group - it's absolutely essential that you give yourself a safe place to vent, get advice or have someone you can bounce ideas off of. Knowing that you are accepted and loved can go a long way towards maintaining your sanity and stress levels in moments of insanity or chaos. If you don't have this support system, I strongly suggest that you seek one out... even an online support group is better than no support system at all.

I think that you should make time to pursue things you enjoy - hobbies such as reading, writing, sewing, singing, fishing, etc... just whatever it is that you enjoy. Give yourself permission to take a break from "real life" and pursue those things that make you happy. Give yourself an outlet for creativity and relaxation. If you constantly feel as though you don't have time for things you enjoy, then it's definitely time to make time for those things. Even if it's only fifteen minutes a day, give yourself time for hobbies.

Managing stress and keeping your sanity in daily life isn't always easy, but it's definitely possible. And it's probably a lot easier than you think. Just make sure to give yourself time to breath and don't beat yourself up for the things you don't manage to get done or the things you think you "should" do. Just take things one day at a time and tackle one obstacle and one crisis at a time. Your sanity will thank you for it.

Coping with Life

Life is hard. No doubt about it. Sometimes it can seem very overwhelming. Even to those of us who have "been there, done that" in negative situations or when dealing with negativity in relationships. No single person has their life perfectly together. Even if that's what they want you to think and they try to portray - the fact is, no one is perfect - we all have skeletons in our closets and we all have problems to deal with.

Don't look at someone else and what you perceive of their life and assume they have it all together or they have no problems. I assure you, everyone is great at putting on a front, but most people can't allow themselves to be vulnerable and real in front of others, so you don't see what's behind that "front."

It all comes down to living life and coping as we go. I have had a really rough week or so, emotionally. I was starting to think that I was either slowly losing my mind or that my mind was already gone - it was just that bad. I have always had issues with depression, but I let my depression and anxiety get the best of me last week when things got a little hectic and some unexpected stuff happened. Don't worry, I'm better and I know that I'm not the only one who occasionally gets overwhelmed.

I don't think there's a set "Destination" in life, I think we all have to keep moving and learning as we go, while ultimately aiming for self-knowledge and peace. I don't think that there's much more to hope to attain, personally, other than a life well-lived, lessons learned and some enlightenment.

So life is hard. Just keep moving and going, cope as you go, and eventually, you end up having all the skills to cope and end up discovering yourself along the way.

Rants and Raves... And Why Ex's Usually Can't Be Friends

Yep. Divorce or splitting up with a partner isn't easy. Usually, it's extremely volatile, especially if children are involved. Even if you can manage to split with your partner relatively amicably, with little conflict, it's inevitable, if you have children, that there will eventually be a conflict. It's usually true that, at some point or another, your feelings in a relationship will change - from like or love to dislike or hate. If those feelings stay, then divorce or breaking up is inevitable.

But, back to my main point. Exes cannot usually be friends. Even when you plan on co-parenting and even if you intend on an amicable relationship with your ex, it's almost impossible to do so without any type of conflict when you have kids. We are all very different individuals. And, even if ending a relationship is amicable or even friendly, it's difficult to maintain that whenever differences or conflicts arise when you are raising children with someone you are no longer in a relationship with.

Sometimes, there are unresolved feelings or unresolved conflicts concerning the former marriage or relationship. This can spill over into conflicts when it comes to disagreements concerning the children. It's really easy to bring up past episodes of disagreements or actions of the other party when you are disagreeing about how to deal with situations concerning children, especially if the relationship was volatile or ended on a bitter note.

After being married and divorced three times and trying to co-parent with all three of my ex-husbands, I'm here to tell you that, despite being civil and attempting to co-parent, my exes and I are not friends. While we can be friendly for the sake of the children and we are usually successful at being civil, occasionally conflicts arise in which disagreements or conversations get volatile. I think this is more normal than exes truly being friends.

Mind you, I'm not saying that exes cannot be friends or that it's impossible, I'm just saying that it's simply not likely and not very common. I would suggest, if you are divorcing or are divorced, aim for being civil, try to mind your own business when it comes to your ex's life and don't volunteer excessive information about your own life to your ex. Exes are exes for a reason. Keep that in mind. 

Living Authentically

Are we true to ourselves, our hopes, our dreams? Do we live within our proclaimed values and morals? Do we feel like we can be our true selves or do we feel the need to wear a mask or to be someone we are not? A life lived in disguise, lived based on what others think we should do, is a life wasted.

I wish someone had told me that years ago, instead of learning it the hard way.

For too many years, I lived within the ideals of what I believed was best, simply because it was what everyone expected of me. I attempted to hide my true self and attempted to avoid confrontation or doing anything to "rock the boat" in attempts to make others happy. I found myself hiding my true thoughts, feelings, beliefs and ideas. I wore a mask that I never took off, even with those who were supposed to be closest to me.

That's absolutely no way to live.

I found that in trying to please others, I pleased no one and I made myself absolutely miserable. It's like I kept waiting for permission to be myself, for permission to pursue my interests, kept waiting on something to change so that I could be happy or be myself. And then I discovered, I was absolutely miserable, I was unhappy and I had the power all along to change my life and be happy. I found out that it's completely okay to be myself.

What an amazing discovery! I can be myself and if there is someone who doesn't approve or like it, then it's their problem and they don't belong in my life. I can live my life as myself, live for each moment, be happy and be at peace. This is what I call living authentically. I can be truly myself and be true to my beliefs and reach for my goals. I think it is much better to live this way, leaving no room for negativity and naysayers, than to live behind a mask, locked in an invisible box and feeling trapped.

It's an amazing freedom to be yourself and live your life authentically. I encourage anyone to try it. Find your true self, live as your true self, live authentically... and find the happiness that you deserve.

It's All UP From Here!

Wow, this has been a crazy few years. Starting in 2010, when my marriage began to crumble right after my youngest child was born, then meeting my new love, whom I've now been with for 3 years, to starting college and now being a year away from graduating with my Associate's degree in Psychology, it's been a rough ride. Finally, last year, the May 20th tornado of Moore, Oklahoma took out our life as we knew it. Then, a month ago, my boyfriend had a massive heart attack.

I had an epiphany this morning. Even when life is at it's lowest point and even when you seemingly can't go anywhere, the only option becomes to move forward and go up from there. So, even though I've been down for the last few years, it's all UP from here. Our life path is our choice, we CHOOSE the direction we move in. Starting today, I'm choosing to go forward and up.

While I haven't been writing much the last several months (obviously, I've been horrible at keeping a blog!), I am now more motivated than ever to start writing again and KEEP writing. For me, writing is an outlet, but it also allows me to connect with others on a deeper level. Find something that's important to you and make it a priority in your life. Family and friends are a given as to what should be a priority in your life.... I'm talking about other things that are important to you.

Find your own path, choose to move forward and realize, it's all up from here. Seriously. When you get down to a certain level, the only choice is to go back up. 

Book Update # 2

Making progress with my first manuscript, but it's slow-going as I go back to do some basic editing and proof-reading. I am a little frustrated. Maybe the frustration will pass and I will honestly feel as though I am making progress soon.

I think I am a bit overwhelmed with life right now and have set some unrealistic goals. Only time will tell. I guess I am being a bit hard on myself. And of course, no one is a worse critic to ourselves than we are. I often wonder if anyone is even remotely interested in anything I could have to say. That's probably due to my own insecurity.

Life is funny like that. We spend a large part of our lives semi-afraid to move forward due to fearing mistakes or criticism. I think that what I am doing is good and I think that the book I am currently working on will actually be helpful to SOMEONE out there, but I hate potentially facing rejection.

But, onward I go and I WILL publish this book, because it's a goal I've set for myself that I am GOING to finish! :)

Book Update #1

It looks as though I will be getting my first book published sometimes in January 2014, as I am not having as much time as I anticipated to be able to work on it. I am having trouble with proof-reading and making sure that the format is correct for publishing for Kindle.

I am thinking that it was very unrealistic of me to expect to have all the bugs worked out and have a manuscript I am happy with before December, let alone TWO. So, back to basics I go. I will continue to post updates and I will be posting a brief description of my first book within a week.

I am also spending a little more time writing for various websites right now, because I am hoping to earn a little more cash to put toward my schooling and other expenses for this semester. I'll keep you all posted!

Publishing Through Amazon for Kindle

So as I am working on both of my book manuscripts, I find myself searching more and more for information about publishing through Amazon for Kindle. I am getting closer to my goal. At least ONE of my books will be published by Winter 2013/2014.

Which leads me to some issues. I'm really having difficulty understanding the formatting issues and wondering about pricing and marketing your book. Yep, pretty much all of it. Has anyone out there ever published through Amazon for Kindle? If you have, can you please share your experiences with me?

I know I will get it figured out, but with my new school semester starting in a matter of weeks, my kids getting ready for back to school and also trying to write for various websites to earn money, I am feeling slightly overwhelmed and feeling as though maybe I might have bitten off more than I can chew.

If anyone has any advice or input for me, I'd greatly appreciate it. Otherwise, I'm just very busy today, keeping up with kids, making sure the house is clean and trying to get some more writing done!