Knowing Your Limitations

I have had a recent epiphany. After several months of stress and many unexpected changes, I've found myself in the position of finally needing to slow myself down.

As someone who struggles with severe anxiety, as well as chronic pain and arthritis, I find myself having days that are truly a struggle to get through.  I find myself struggling to get showered and changed for the day, struggling to keep up with two toddlers and seven other kids who all need something different from me.

The simplest tasks keep me busy, I struggle to get everything done that I feel I need to get done. When it hurts to walk because your body is basically attacking itself or your chest is hurting and you can barely breathe due to being anxious or stressed, the effects can be completely crippling.

I miss feeling like a normal person, I miss being able to do whatever I wanted or needed to do without feeling like my own body hates me and is imploding on itself. When I feel as though I'm ready to jump out of my own skin because I can't get the pain to stop - there aren't enough words to describe the level of frustration I feel.

Yes, folks, this post is about me and all about me. I'm having a bad pain day and I don't like it. I'm tired of being tired all the time, I'm tired of being frustrated or feeling pretty useless.

I've found myself agreeing to things that I ended up stressing myself and my body out over. I've found myself angry with myself and the situation.

No one with anxiety OR chronic pain wants to feel like this. None of us want to be a burden on our spouses,  partners or friends. We don't like asking for help and we don't like not being able to do simple things asked of us. But a lot of us eventually realize that, sometimes, despite our best efforts and intentions, we DO have limitations.

The struggle with anxiety is real. The struggle with chronic pain is real. I'm not crazy and neither is anyone else struggling with anxiety or chronic pain, or, in many cases, both. 

Please don't tell me to just suck it up and deal or to just get over it. Believe me, if it were that simple,  I'd have already done so. I have 9 very active children, a husband, a home, work, friends and family. I don't have time to  be sick or tired. I don't have time to hurt.

But, there it is. I still hurt, I still have severe anxiety, and I have to make the time to deal with the worst of days. 

I might spend weeks with no pain or anxiety and then it hits out if nowhere, much like I imagine getting hit by a freight train would.  I might start the day just fine and then in the middle of the day or an errand or chore, find myself out of energy, in pain or having severe chest pain and find myself out of breath.

This isn't something I chose or wanted. I work with my doctors to find solutions, but often find myself with no answers or trying, yet again, another medicine or supplement.

I just have to continue the struggle and keep moving forward. Life is happening at warp speed, but I want to participate as much as possible.

Foodstamps Doesn't Mean Lazy

Just because someone receives foodstamps doesn't mean that they don't work or that they're lazy. I wish people would stop with the ignorant assumptions. 

There are huge amounts of people who receive foodstamps who DO work. Many of them are in the class that most people forget about "the working poor."  With the high costs of living in most areas and the lack of decent paying jobs, it's almost impossible for many people to live without some type of assistance. No matter how much they work. 

There are then those who DON'T qualify for foodstamps that make a "liveable" wage but they have to pay higher costs to get medical covzerage or pay for medicines.

Some people have to pay high payments on a not worth it car, just to be able to get to that low paying job to be able to survive. And then they have huge costs to be able to have medical coverage or insurance or to pay for their medications.

It drives me crazy that people assume people who receive food stamps don't work. Most of the time, that's simply not the case.

Many people are living paycheck to paycheck and are one paycheck (or lack thereof) away from homelessness. People become homeless for a variety of reasons... for some, it could be that an unexpected vehicle repair takes all the money in the household.

You can't leave the vehicle not running because you have to be able to get to and from work to keep your income. If you lose transportation, you could lose your job, many do. A high utility bill can take away a family's grocery money for an entire month.

Most people that get foodstamps are either disabled or working-class people simply trying to get by.

If people want to solve the foodstamp problem and fix the government budget,  change the extremely high costs for basic medical care. Make childcare accessible and affordable. Make the costs of living lower.

This isn't a foodstamp program issue. It's an economy and basic living issue. Everyone has a basic human right to have clean water, food, a shelter over their heads, access to medical and dental care. Until these problems are fixed, then the problems will persist.

As with any system, there will be those who will attempt to abuse it or commit fraud. They're not the majority though. Cutting essential programs to deter a few will hurt the ones who really need the help.