Reach for Your Goals

If you have nothing to strive for, then you have no goals or hopes for your life. If you have no goals or hopes, then what is the purpose of existence? We all have a purpose and destination in our lives, even when we may not realize what exactly that is. Sometimes, people never figure out what exactly their purpose for being is or was, but they have made a large impact in ways that they could never even begin to understand.

We are all here for a reason. Every challenge we face, happens for a reason. There's no other way to look at life and the challenges in life that we face. If we simply believe that things just happen and that we're just sitting here wandering aimlessly in the world, then we have no motivation or hope of ever reaching our goals, finding our hopes and dreams. This would make our lives pointless. And who wants to live a pointless life?

Every day that we live is another chance to get it right, another chance to do something to make a difference in our own lives and that of another. We come across all sorts of people in our daily lives that may be struggling with the same things that we are, sometimes struggling with things that we couldn't even begin to fathom... It's amazing how the little things can make an impact on another person. We are each where we are when we are supposed to be.

And in context of all of this, I urge you to reach for your goals. Keep reach and keep moving towards them, but never forget compassion or understanding for others. Keep hoping and dreaming, but make sure you spread the hope around and share it with others. Reaching for our goals shouldn't be a purely selfish undertaking, it needs to be done in such a way that we still live with compassion, empathy and that we still connect with others. 

On Living in a Vacuum

So it had occurred to me that for most of my adult life, I've been living in a vacuum. I didn't see the entire big picture of things, which made decision-making a little easier than it should have been. In some cases, I really and truly made no conscious decision.

For many years, I lacked a sense of self-awareness and lacked any real self-esteem. Which led me to the place I am now. For the most part, although it wasn't a conscious decision on my part, I simply allowed things to happen around me. I allowed others to make decisions for me.

I have been living in a vacuum and having no real sense of time or sense of urgency concerning much of anything in my life. I hid behind spouses and children and used being a wife and mother or being a mother as an excuse to not really do anything with myself or my life.

When you give away your power, it's awfully difficult to gain it back. It's a very odd place to find yourself, when you realize that you gave up choices and control of yourself and your life simply because you had no idea how to make necessary decisions or because you had no idea how certain choices could or would affect your life.

The impact of my past actions or inactions has finally hit me in a way that I can no longer ignore. While I refuse to beat myself up for my past and refuse to live in said past, I do have to take responsibility and acknowledge that I certainly have had more to do with how things have turned out than I thought.

What a sobering thought. That I had more control than I believed at the time. And I'm now having to come to terms with the fact that I really did live in a naïve fashion. I'm all for positive thinking and for believing things will turn out for the best, but there's absolutely no reason - or excuse - to live like an ostrich with her head in the sand.

The most dangerous part of living as if in a vacuum is that while you're busy being oblivious and naïve, life is simply going along at warp speed and if you aren't careful, it goes in the wrong direction.

It takes a strong person to pull the plug on the vacuum and start navigating your own life. Some mistakes can never be corrected, while others are extremely difficult to change once they've begun to snowball. I am definitely stronger than I ever thought possible, but I am learning as I go... and I know that I am still not as strong as I need to be.

But at least the vacuum is no longer running, I'm no longer trapped inside. It's much better to be the one pushing the vacuum than simply riding inside.
 

Beginning Self-Inventory

There comes a point in everyone's life where they begin questioning themselves, their circumstances, how they got to the point they are and they ponder their future.

I know this, because I'm doing it myself. I have reached a point in my life where I question all things - both good and bad - and I am making decisions as I go along.

A lot of self-inventory has occurred. And I'm still nowhere near finished. I find that I am questioning things about my past, my present and my future. More importantly, I am beginning to truly discover who I am and where I am going in my life, what I want out of my life and what I want for my children.

What's most important in a self-inventory is to be completely honest with yourself. When you ask yourself questions, you owe it to yourself to give completely honest answers. This has been a very difficult process for me, because I've had to face a lot of decisions that *I* made and the fact that a lot of those choices led myself down some very wrong paths in my life.

It's so easy to blame others or to use excuses when we don't want to face the flaws within ourselves or accept the decisions we've made as our own. I'm not talking about tearing yourself down or hating yourself, just honest acceptance and accountability.

When you reach the point of honesty and openness with YOURSELF, then making the right choices for yourself is a whole lot easier. I find myself crying and laughing at times, sometimes at the same time, but yet, I'm still here and I'm moving forward. This time, I think it's in the right direction. Time will tell, but at least I feel good about the steps I'm taking.

A big, positive change in a positive direction. Another day, another chance. Sometimes another chance and hope are all we have to hold onto.

 

Simply Be Yourself, Not Your Past

        Too often, we are bombarded with recollections of our past - whether these come in the form of reminiscing with friends or family, places, things or even just self-inventory. If our past is less than stellar, it is all too easy to internalize those mistakes, continuing to hold onto that past and believe that we are too intertwined with our past to ever get past it.

        In effect, we begin to believe that we are either a product of our past or that we are still our past. If we do not let go of our past and all of the mistakes we have made while traveling through our life path, then we remain stuck in the past. Believing we are our past and its mistakes, takes us to a point of losing hope and any motivation for moving forward or making changes in our lives.

         Which leads to the question of, what do you do when you've lost hope and motivation? Take a self-inventory. Look at yourself, those around you and past choices you've made. Realize that you have more options that you have ever really thought possible and recognize that you are where you are now due to choices that you yourself have made.

      One of the most important things you can do for yourself is to realize that you are not the person you were in your past. Each moment that passes, is another step away from the person you were yesterday, the day before, weeks, months and years before. When we realize that we are not the person who made those mistakes, it becomes easier to make the right decisions and to follow the path best suited to reach our goals.

      An amazing part of being a human being is the ability to make mistakes, while being able to learn from those mistakes so that we can become the person we want to be and have the life we truly want. If you find yourself in a position of being unable to make a decision or choose between two different paths, think back to past situations and your reactions to them.

     We often do the most growing and make the best choices for ourselves in the midst of crisis, as long as we are willing to open our eyes to our own flaws and mistakes of our past. Choosing to put your past behind you and realizing that you are who you are today due to your past, goes a long way toward letting go and finding your true self.

      Once you find your true self or know who it is you want to be, you can find hope again, set goals and start taking the steps to get the life you want for yourself.