Gratitude and Gratefulness

Gratitude and gratefulness. These are two very important words that everyone should know, but better yet, they should be incorporated into everyone's being and daily life. But there is a slight difference between the two.

Gratitude is an abstract noun, it's a description, an abstract way to describe someone being "thankful." Most definitions used the example of someone doing one a kindness, one saying "thank you" and then being *grateful* for the other person's kindness. It's an abstract THING or emotion.

Gratefulness is an attitude, an adjective, it's a way of thinking and feeling. Most definitions that I ran across for "grateful" stated that it is an adjective and it is to "show appreciation for kindness." Hmmm. That's interesting.

Both describe a feeling or emotion, but from different sides. But both are so very important. It's not enough to just say "thank-you" and be thankful for another's kindness, you also need to show appreciation. This means not simply saying "thank you," but expressing your gratitude in other ways... perhaps offering to do something nice, making sure to be polite and respectful to the person(s) that did something for you, etc.

No one gets anywhere in life without remaining humble, having gratitude for the things they have or are given, and also being grateful for the things that others do for them. Sometimes it's a matter of basic good manners, other times it's about having the right attitude and respecting others.

Removing Toxic People From Your Life

Life is hard. Even when things are going pretty good, there will be occasional struggles or obstacles in your way. This is especially true if you've already dealt with any type of hardship in your life. If you're like me, and you've gone through multiple struggles in your life - mental, emotional, abusive relationships, poverty, homelessness, physical, etc - then dealing with basic, everyday life can sometimes feel like a struggle.

This is why it's important to have a solid support system in place - whether you have good family and friends, a counselor and/or support group, online support groups, etc - everyone needs a support system. We all need people in our lives, even those of us who might claim to be "anti-social" or those who have "social anxiety." But what we don't need in our lives is toxic people and situations.

If you have someone in your life who is toxic, if they bring more drama than you care to deal with, if they mentally or emotionally drain you.. it's time to remove them from your life. Toxic people have no positive purpose in our lives and they have no place in our lives. We cannot grow and thrive if we are surrounded by toxic people or situations.

Beware the person who is "just being honest" and proceeds to tell you things that hurt you, your emotional and mental well-being... honesty is not an excuse for rudeness and true honesty is never cruel or hurtful. Beware those who will say they want what is best for you, but then will encourage situations or habits that will harm you. Don't allow someone to cause you to doubt yourself or question your abilities to make your own choices or reach your goals.

There are many out there who will claim to love and care about you - whether a family member, a friend, a romantic partner, etc... those who truly care about you will actually want what is best for you, without attempting to control you, tell you what to do, manipulate you, bring further stress and chaos to your life or treat you disrespectfully.

When it comes to removing toxic people from your life...  many times, you can do this without any type of confrontation. Simply cease all contact and avoid them - you'd be surprised how many people will simply let things go without a fight. In other cases, a very calm and direct "I'm ceasing contact because this situation/relationship is toxic for me" is given to the other person, then simply do not respond or make contact again.

Remember, you owe no one an explanation. And even if you explain yourself to someone who is toxic a million times, there are going to be those who will never accept or acknowledge your explanation as truth. There are even going to be those who argue with you and may fight to try to stay in your life. Don't allow them to.

It may require a court order or contacting the police and notifying them of the toxic individual's harassment and continued contact after you've asked them not to contact them again. You may be able to get away with simply blocking the individual and never hear from them again. If someone is being toxic in your life and you want to remove them - do so by whatever means necessary, you do not have to allow them to steal another moment of your peace and happiness.

We all have the right to have supportive, nonjudgmental people in our lives, we have the right to make decisions for ourselves without someone attempting to manipulate or control us. No one needs an energy or emotional vampire sucking them dry. Drop the toxic people and situations and watch your life become full of light and love again.

Make sure your circle is full of people who truly love and support you and want what is best for you. Say NO to negativity and toxicity, and don't look back. We all should live our lives as if they're too short-  because they are - and life is too short to live with toxic people and situations.

Making Do With Less

We live in a society that seems to be largely focused on monetary wealth and material things. Too often, we focus so much on earning money and trying to get "ahead" that we don't realize that we're spending our time on making and spending money, rather than spending that time doing things we actually enjoy or with our loved ones. If you have to ask yourself if you are too focused on acquiring wealth and material things, chances are, you are.

Instead of worrying about what you don't have or trying so hard to acquire that which you do not have, try being thankful for what you do have and asking yourself if that which you are striving for is really something you NEED. Can you make do with less? Can you make do without that which you are working so hard to acquire? There are a few basic necessities in life - food, clothing, shelter, transportation... These do not have to be elaborate, name-brand or "fancy. " We only need that which sustains us and allows us to live in reasonable comfort.

Anything else besides things we "need" and keepsakes, is just extra "fluff." Trust me, we could all probably get by with a lot less than what we do.. unless you are already homeless or destitute, you probably have unneccessary items and unneccessary expenses. When the tornado took out my life as I knew it last year, my kids and I had our lives turned completely upside down, but we also began to look at it as a blessing in disguise, because we needed to downsize and de-clutter our home and our life.

My point is, making do with less isn't about living "poor" or being poor... it's about being happy with what you have in the true context of what it is. Focus your life on other people and being happy, not how much you can make, spend or acquire.

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Compassionate Care at The End of Life

I work in the healthcare field. Although I am not a nurse or even a nurse's aid, I deal with patients on a daily basis. All of my patients are elderly. In my job, we call these patients "clients." The thing about it is, I'm not sure that is an entirely accurate term. I can understand from a business or financial point of view that the patients are, in all actuality, clients.

But, I feel like using the term "client" is a way of dehumanizing the patient and also a way to distance the healthcare workers from the people they care for. I can't help but feeling that this is wrong. The end of one's life should be a time where one is celebrating their life and accomplishments, they have lived and learned, earned the respect of others and they should GET that consideration and respect.

Caring for an elderly person can be more difficult that dealing with a child. It isn't that the elderly person is child-like or "immature" it's that we often forget that the elderly are adults and that they have earned the right to respect. Often, caregivers become impatient with those they are caring for, they suffer from stress and burnout themselves, and so they end up becoming indifferent to those that they care for. This is so wrong.

The elderly deserve respect, consideration and compassionate care. It can be difficult for those caring for them to remember that these are people who have lived long lives, have worked for what they have and that many times, the person they are caring for gets just as frustrated with themselves as the caregiver gets with them.

Imagine living your life independently and then slowly or even suddenly, becoming unable to do basic things for yourself. It can be difficult to remember that the elderly have gone from being perfectly capable of caring for themselves and even others, to having to rely on others for basic needs. It can become all too easy to forget that the person we are caring for is just as frustrated as we get, that this person can become confused and that they are often struggling with depression.

It's important to care for the elderly, especially when they are seriously ill or suffering from a debilitating condition such as Alzheimer's or dementia, with as much compassion, empathy and respect as possible. I know that care-giving can be difficult and stressful, perhaps even depressing, but it's important to remember that you play an important role in this person's life and that they are relying on you - whether they want to or not.

Elder care can be demanding and stressful. And while it may be tempting to distance yourself or attempt to remain indifferent to your patient, I really feel like it is important to connect on a human and emotional level with the person(s) you are caring for. If you distance yourself from your patients, it can be difficult to meet their needs. Just make sure to also care for yourself while caring for your patients. But don't attempt to keep your distance.

You are meeting far more than physical needs - many elderly people are lonely, scared, depressed, etc - a compassionate caregiver who has connected can make a world of difference in the quality of life for an individual who is at the end of their life.

I currently care for two lovely elderly women. One is suffering from Alzheimer's disease and dementia and the other is suffering from congestive heart failure. Both of these women are very special and very dear to me. I know at some point, I will lose them. And I will mourn that loss. But I also know that I am a better person for having met them and being a part of their lives, I have learned so much from both of them. They are not only my patients, but my friends.

Drunk People... Have You Ever Noticed?

I don't know if you have ever noticed this or not, but drunk people are supremely obnoxious. Especially if you're sober. I worked in bars off and on for over ten years. One thing I learned was that if you're the sober person and you are dealing with drunks, ANYTHING can happen or anything can be said. It's ridiculous sometimes, just how unreasonable drunk people can get.

While I'm not going to sit here and pretend to be a saint or try to pretend like I've never been drunk in my life, I don't think that you should drink to excess and then use being drunk as an excuse to be obnoxious or mean to people.What it is about alcohol that makes some people just seem to lose their marbles and act stupid? I also don't understand why drunk people are more likely to want to fight than sober people.

I don't know if any of you have noticed this, but when people are drunk, it almost seems as though a hidden part of their normal, basic personality comes out and it may be a part of that person that you really don't like. Why is that? I know alcohol lowers inhibitions and people do things when drunk that they might not do when sober, but why are sober people so much better than drunk people at hiding their true thoughts, feelings or parts of themselves?

And, while I am aware that an inebriated person has no real boundaries or inhibitions, why is it that this part of themselves comes out only when they are drinking? And, if you know you're a pain in the ass or an asshole when you get drunk, why would you continue to drink? Why would you want to put others through that and show off that negative side of yourself? I just don't get it.

People Suck Sometimes

You know, I don't understand what is wrong with people. I don't get why some people have to be so mean to other people or why they feel the need to be hateful or rude to those they supposedly love. Even if you don't particularly like someone, there's never an excuse to throw negativity out at them. If they are truly a bad person or have done something wrong, I really believe that Karma will come back and bite them in the ass, so why waste energy on negativity towards that person?

I really wish people wouldn't toss out negativity at others, especially when it's done as a defense mechanism to keep someone at a distance from them or as a way to hurt them before they themselves get hurt. I really wish that people could just learn to be nice and learn to treat others BETTER than they themselves would want to be treated. I get so tired of people who are constantly in a negative mind-set or who constantly throw out negativity at others.

Am I the only person who feels like this?

Tips for Keeping Your Sanity in Daily Life

Insanity happens. Yup. Truly. There's simply no way to avoid insanity or chaos as long as you are alive. Our daily lives are unpredictable and anything can happen in a single moment. This is why it's important to do your best to keep yourself sane and as un-stressed as possible when dealing with daily life. If you go through your daily life feeling crazy and being stressed, you're going to wind up having a mental collapse or barely surviving unexpected life events.

It's absolutely important to your sanity to take care of yourself first and foremost. I know that might sound selfish to some people, but you will be absolutely no good for anyone else or in a situation that requires you to be strong if you aren't eating correctly, getting enough sleep or exercising regularly. If you don't take care of you, then you can't take care of anyone else - even when it's needed. So, take good care of your body, it's the only one you've got or will ever have. Treat your body like the complex machine it is and give it the proper respect and care that it deserves.

Another way to keep your sanity in daily life is to make sure that you have a solid support system. Whether it's family members, close friends or even a counselor or support group - it's absolutely essential that you give yourself a safe place to vent, get advice or have someone you can bounce ideas off of. Knowing that you are accepted and loved can go a long way towards maintaining your sanity and stress levels in moments of insanity or chaos. If you don't have this support system, I strongly suggest that you seek one out... even an online support group is better than no support system at all.

I think that you should make time to pursue things you enjoy - hobbies such as reading, writing, sewing, singing, fishing, etc... just whatever it is that you enjoy. Give yourself permission to take a break from "real life" and pursue those things that make you happy. Give yourself an outlet for creativity and relaxation. If you constantly feel as though you don't have time for things you enjoy, then it's definitely time to make time for those things. Even if it's only fifteen minutes a day, give yourself time for hobbies.

Managing stress and keeping your sanity in daily life isn't always easy, but it's definitely possible. And it's probably a lot easier than you think. Just make sure to give yourself time to breath and don't beat yourself up for the things you don't manage to get done or the things you think you "should" do. Just take things one day at a time and tackle one obstacle and one crisis at a time. Your sanity will thank you for it.

Coping with Life

Life is hard. No doubt about it. Sometimes it can seem very overwhelming. Even to those of us who have "been there, done that" in negative situations or when dealing with negativity in relationships. No single person has their life perfectly together. Even if that's what they want you to think and they try to portray - the fact is, no one is perfect - we all have skeletons in our closets and we all have problems to deal with.

Don't look at someone else and what you perceive of their life and assume they have it all together or they have no problems. I assure you, everyone is great at putting on a front, but most people can't allow themselves to be vulnerable and real in front of others, so you don't see what's behind that "front."

It all comes down to living life and coping as we go. I have had a really rough week or so, emotionally. I was starting to think that I was either slowly losing my mind or that my mind was already gone - it was just that bad. I have always had issues with depression, but I let my depression and anxiety get the best of me last week when things got a little hectic and some unexpected stuff happened. Don't worry, I'm better and I know that I'm not the only one who occasionally gets overwhelmed.

I don't think there's a set "Destination" in life, I think we all have to keep moving and learning as we go, while ultimately aiming for self-knowledge and peace. I don't think that there's much more to hope to attain, personally, other than a life well-lived, lessons learned and some enlightenment.

So life is hard. Just keep moving and going, cope as you go, and eventually, you end up having all the skills to cope and end up discovering yourself along the way.

Hopes and Dreams: Lost in Translation

I feel like sometimes, I'll never reach those goals I have set for myself - both as an adult and then the hopes and dreams of my childhood. I often feel lost and confused, sometimes like a little kid trying to play "grown-up." Am I the only person who ever feels like this? Surely not.

I know this isn't my typical upbeat and "live positive" post. I've been in a really weird mood lately. I've gone back and forth between being so excited and proud of myself for the progress I've made and then feeling as though I'm stuck in quicksand and sinking slowly. I guess we all go through periods like this, but mine happen so randomly and end so quickly, sometimes it's hard to keep up with the thoughts that are racing through my mind.

Believe it or not, I'm not very good at expressing myself. I envy those who know what they are feeling and can express it in an eloquent manner. Sometimes I can manage okay, but the rest of the time I'm not sure that I've accurately conveyed whatever it is that I am thinking or feeling - especially when I'm not really sure what it is that I am feeling.

I feel like my hopes and dreams have been on hold for most of my life, as though I've somehow lost sight of them while trying to translate the meaning and purpose of everyday life. All I know is that I have to keep moving, keep swimming in the rough waters of life and hope that I reach my goals and somehow, along the way, find my hopes and dreams too.

Be The Person You Are Meant To Be

We are all meant to be somebody. Perhaps not known throughout the world or famous. Perhaps not known for doing great acts, perhaps we are to be known for our small actions that make a difference. Perhaps we are meant to be the one who stands in the background and supports others. Maybe we're meant to change the world. Each and every one of us has a purpose and a reason for being, a person we are meant to be.

Are you who you are meant to be? How will you know when you are? Do you know who you are meant to be - or are you still trying to figure it out? How do we figure it out and take the path that we are meant to take? No. I don't have the answers. I don't believe that anyone has any of the answers - we all have to figure these things out for ourselves, in the time we are meant to.

Gauge your actions, reactions, your thoughts and emotions - figure out if you are or are becoming, the person you are meant to be. The only way you can find out is if you act and react and pay attention to the things in your life, in your heart, the things in your mind. Only you can know who you are meant to be and only you can know when you have become the person you are meant to be.

All any of us can do is go through life, keep learning and growing, and keep on moving - even if it means that sometimes we have to crawl or drag ourselves through the debris from the storms that life throws at us. Sometimes, I think that we find ourselves and who we are meant to be when we're right smack in the middle of the storm. Then it's up to us to find our way out and keep moving forward.

Be the person you are meant to be. Don't give up until you figure it out. Even when you feel lost, know that you have a purpose and a reason for being who you are and who you are meant to be.