Independence Day 2019

As I sit here on this Independence Day, I have no plans.. just myself and my two youngest kids, hanging out at home and watching tv. We won't be getting out to watch fireworks or anything. I have severe anxiety in large crowds, so taking two toddlers into large crowds or heavy traffic is the last thing I want to do. But we're enjoying the time together and I'm definitely enjoying the peace and my freedom.

While today is our nation's celebration of Independence, I'm also viewing it as my personal Independence Day celebration. Because for the first time in as long as I can remember, I'm happy... I have peace and quiet in my life, I'm not living anywhere with a partner who wants to fuss and fight, I'm not having to walk on eggshells around someone, I don't have to put up with things that are disrespectful or hurtful to myself and my children.

I am so thankful for my freedom, not just in my country, but for my personal freedom. I am thankful to live in a country where women have the right and the ability to not have to be subjugated to an abusive man, we aren't viewed as property and we have the right to be safe and happy. I'm thankful that I realized this and can find my happiness without interruption or interference.

If you are enjoying your freedom today, even if it's just your own personal Celebration of Independence, or if you're just thankful to live in a free country, thank a soldier or a veteran for their willingness to sign on the dotted line and willingness to sacrifice their very lives for your freedom. We have the right to freedom because many gave their lives for the privilege.

As for me, I'm celebrating the Independence of our country and my personal freedom from abuse and pain. It's a new day and a new life.

Find Your Own Happiness

I just thought I'd write a quick "Public Service Announcement" for those of you out there who might be struggling to find real, lasting happiness. You won't find true, lasting happiness if you seek to make another human being responsible for your happiness. While those closest to us can contribute to our happiness - lovers, friends, family, children, etc... our happiness lies within ourselves. Yes, you are the only one who can make yourself happy, and sometimes you have to choose to make yourself happy.

Many people make the mistake in thinking that their happiness lies in external factors - the ideal partner, the "perfect" job, more money in the bank, their dream home, less debt, etc. The list could go on. While accomplishments and achievements can contribute to your happiness, none of these things will matter if you are unhappy with yourself deep inside. You cannot secretly loathe yourself or feel unworthy and then expect to be happy because of material things or your relationships with other people. The only way to be happy is to choose to be happy and to work on loving yourself and nurturing yourself.

If we rely on others to make us happy, we are shortchanging ourselves and doing our loved ones a grave disservice. The tendency to rely on others to make themselves happy, is, why I think our society's divorce rates, homeless rates, unemployment rates, etc... are so high. It all comes back down to broken people expecting others to fix them and then trying to rely on others for their own happiness.

If we would all take more personal responsibility for our own happiness, thoughts and actions - we would find that our world would be a much better place. But for many, this is impossible to do because they spend more time focused on external factors than trying to love themselves and make sure that they, themselves are a whole person. Instead, we find that many people expect others to "complete" them or make them happy.

All this leads to is more broken souls. It is a huge responsibility and burden to put on another human being's heart and soul when you expect them to make you happy. Many people will try to make someone they care about happy, but they are left guessing how or feeling discouraged because they can't. The unhappy individual is left feeling more alone, unhappy and frustrated - thus leading to a breakdown in the relationship, until it eventually ends.

To avoid making other people responsible for your happiness or making them feel responsible for your happiness... First, learn to be happy with yourself and love yourself. Work on finding your inner peace and figure out what you need for your own happiness. Once you make the choice to be happy, then you can figure out what will make you happy for yourself, without relying on another person or placing undue pressure on those that you love.

True happiness and peace comes from within. Not from material things, job or other people. Once you start loving yourself and nurturing yourself, you will be better prepared to seek out your own happiness and be in balance to be able to have that happiness enhanced by the people you choose to put in your life.

Suicide Threats

If you or someone you know is suffering from depression, it's important to take the time to get help - for yourself, your loved one(s), whomever. Depression is a very serious issue and can be not just mentally debilitating, but also physically debilitating. Depression doesn't just affect the person suffering - it affects the others around them, affects relationships, jobs, finances, etc.

AND, here's another important issue when it comes to depression. If the person suffering from depression is considering suicide, seems suicidal or has made suicidal threats, it's VERY important to seek help immediately. Even when you may feel like the person is just attention-seeking or isn't serious about it, it's important to take the threat of suicide very seriously. A person who is suicidal or who is making threats of suicide isn't merely making threats, they are expressing, at a minimum, a desire to self-harm.

Suicide is not the way out, it's not the cure for depression. If you know someone who is depressed and they seem suicidal, talk of death or suicide or they have threatened suicide, TAKE IT SERIOUSLY. A person who threatens suicide - even if they aren't serious about it and are attention-seeking - is crying out for help. Please make it a point to try to get them professional help immediately. If you are depressed and/or feeling suicidal, then seek help for yourself.

Suicide is a life or death matter. Literally. And it's not a joke. If you need help, please call call 1-800-273-8255  (National Suicide Prevention Lifeline)