On Life and Words

Sometimes in life, we come to a crossroads with people or situations. We are faced with the choice of either continuing to hold on or to try to let someone or something go. This is the first step in healing from trauma or abuse, and it can also just be something as simple as needing to clear your "emotional clutter" or remove complications from your life to be able to live your best life in as healthy a way as is possible. This might need to happen in a very direct and abrupt manner. You may need to make a conscious choice to get someone or something out of your life, choosing to go no-contact with an individual or choosing to drop a habit or something else. It can seem to come out of nowhere to the other person if it's an individual, they might even get angry with you for losing their access to you. In some cases, it's just a simple case of a friend or family member and yourself losing common ground and needing to go separate ways... there's nothing wrong with...

Love is hard. Loving people is harder. We all have a very normal human desire to both love and be loved. The word love is not a noun, it's a verb. This is where many people get so twisted up when dealing with their love for others. Our society tends to consider love a "thing," when it is an *ACTION.*  We often talk of "loving" things - ice cream, pizza, places, etc. That's not love, that is an intense LIKE of something. Love means we are going to do whatever we can possibly do to ensure another person's happiness or well-being. It is both an action and an emotion. When we love someone, we (hopefully) truly want what is best for them - we want them to be happy, safe, successful, etc. Many times, however, people are quick to use "love" for others as a way to receive love in their own lives. The word love is spoken in an attempt to get the other person to reciprocate. This isn't love. True love doesn't require that the other person ...

I just thought I'd write a quick "Public Service Announcement" for those of you out there who might be struggling to find real, lasting happiness. You won't find true, lasting happiness if you seek to make another human being responsible for your happiness. While those closest to us can contribute to our happiness - lovers, friends, family, children, etc... our happiness lies within ourselves. Yes, you are the only one who can make yourself happy, and sometimes you have to choose to make yourself happy. Many people make the mistake in thinking that their happiness lies in external factors - the ideal partner, the "perfect" job, more money in the bank, their dream home, less debt, etc. The list could go on. While accomplishments and achievements can contribute to your happiness, none of these things will matter if you are unhappy with yourself deep inside. You cannot secretly loathe yourself or feel unworthy and then expect to be happy because of material ...