Removing Toxic People From Your Life

Life is hard. Even when things are going pretty good, there will be occasional struggles or obstacles in your way. This is especially true if you've already dealt with any type of hardship in your life. If you're like me, and you've gone through multiple struggles in your life - mental, emotional, abusive relationships, poverty, homelessness, physical, etc - then dealing with basic, everyday life can sometimes feel like a struggle.

This is why it's important to have a solid support system in place - whether you have good family and friends, a counselor and/or support group, online support groups, etc - everyone needs a support system. We all need people in our lives, even those of us who might claim to be "anti-social" or those who have "social anxiety." But what we don't need in our lives is toxic people and situations.

If you have someone in your life who is toxic, if they bring more drama than you care to deal with, if they mentally or emotionally drain you.. it's time to remove them from your life. Toxic people have no positive purpose in our lives and they have no place in our lives. We cannot grow and thrive if we are surrounded by toxic people or situations.

Beware the person who is "just being honest" and proceeds to tell you things that hurt you, your emotional and mental well-being... honesty is not an excuse for rudeness and true honesty is never cruel or hurtful. Beware those who will say they want what is best for you, but then will encourage situations or habits that will harm you. Don't allow someone to cause you to doubt yourself or question your abilities to make your own choices or reach your goals.

There are many out there who will claim to love and care about you - whether a family member, a friend, a romantic partner, etc... those who truly care about you will actually want what is best for you, without attempting to control you, tell you what to do, manipulate you, bring further stress and chaos to your life or treat you disrespectfully.

When it comes to removing toxic people from your life...  many times, you can do this without any type of confrontation. Simply cease all contact and avoid them - you'd be surprised how many people will simply let things go without a fight. In other cases, a very calm and direct "I'm ceasing contact because this situation/relationship is toxic for me" is given to the other person, then simply do not respond or make contact again.

Remember, you owe no one an explanation. And even if you explain yourself to someone who is toxic a million times, there are going to be those who will never accept or acknowledge your explanation as truth. There are even going to be those who argue with you and may fight to try to stay in your life. Don't allow them to.

It may require a court order or contacting the police and notifying them of the toxic individual's harassment and continued contact after you've asked them not to contact them again. You may be able to get away with simply blocking the individual and never hear from them again. If someone is being toxic in your life and you want to remove them - do so by whatever means necessary, you do not have to allow them to steal another moment of your peace and happiness.

We all have the right to have supportive, nonjudgmental people in our lives, we have the right to make decisions for ourselves without someone attempting to manipulate or control us. No one needs an energy or emotional vampire sucking them dry. Drop the toxic people and situations and watch your life become full of light and love again.

Make sure your circle is full of people who truly love and support you and want what is best for you. Say NO to negativity and toxicity, and don't look back. We all should live our lives as if they're too short-  because they are - and life is too short to live with toxic people and situations.

Mental Health Awareness

Mental health is a serious issue. It's important to remember that just because someone might be suffering from a mental illness, depressio or other issue, does NOT mean that they are "crazy" or seeking attention. If someone you know is struggling with depression, anxiety, mood disorder or other mental health issue, they need your caring and support... Not ridicule or ignorance.

If you get frustrated with someone because they aren't "normal," you need yo remember that they are just as frustrated as you are and they aren't trying to be difficult. Berating someone or treating them badly won't help and anything or anyone and it could even make the issue worse. Mental illness and depression is real, it's not something that someone can control.

Be aware that someone who is dealing with a mental health issue needs support and understanding. The best thing anyone can do if someone they know is struggling with a mental health issue is to be supportive, patient and understanding... As well as educating themselves about the issue.

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Suicide Threats

If you or someone you know is suffering from depression, it's important to take the time to get help - for yourself, your loved one(s), whomever. Depression is a very serious issue and can be not just mentally debilitating, but also physically debilitating. Depression doesn't just affect the person suffering - it affects the others around them, affects relationships, jobs, finances, etc.

AND, here's another important issue when it comes to depression. If the person suffering from depression is considering suicide, seems suicidal or has made suicidal threats, it's VERY important to seek help immediately. Even when you may feel like the person is just attention-seeking or isn't serious about it, it's important to take the threat of suicide very seriously. A person who is suicidal or who is making threats of suicide isn't merely making threats, they are expressing, at a minimum, a desire to self-harm.

Suicide is not the way out, it's not the cure for depression. If you know someone who is depressed and they seem suicidal, talk of death or suicide or they have threatened suicide, TAKE IT SERIOUSLY. A person who threatens suicide - even if they aren't serious about it and are attention-seeking - is crying out for help. Please make it a point to try to get them professional help immediately. If you are depressed and/or feeling suicidal, then seek help for yourself.

Suicide is a life or death matter. Literally. And it's not a joke. If you need help, please call call 1-800-273-8255  (National Suicide Prevention Lifeline)

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Insomnia Strikes Again

I stayed up way too late last night. Actually, it was 2:30AM whenever I finally went to bed. I have no idea why I feel the need to do things like that, because all it does is make me tired. Then, because I slept in this morning because of being up too late last night, I ended up not getting as much done as I had planned on doing.

I am planning on going to bed early tonight. I have to work tomorrow and need to be at full capacity and at full energy to deal with my patients and get everything done that I need to, especially since tomorrow is Friday. I don't know why I do things that make me tired, especially whenever I know better.

Compassionate Care at The End of Life

I work in the healthcare field. Although I am not a nurse or even a nurse's aid, I deal with patients on a daily basis. All of my patients are elderly. In my job, we call these patients "clients." The thing about it is, I'm not sure that is an entirely accurate term. I can understand from a business or financial point of view that the patients are, in all actuality, clients.

But, I feel like using the term "client" is a way of dehumanizing the patient and also a way to distance the healthcare workers from the people they care for. I can't help but feeling that this is wrong. The end of one's life should be a time where one is celebrating their life and accomplishments, they have lived and learned, earned the respect of others and they should GET that consideration and respect.

Caring for an elderly person can be more difficult that dealing with a child. It isn't that the elderly person is child-like or "immature" it's that we often forget that the elderly are adults and that they have earned the right to respect. Often, caregivers become impatient with those they are caring for, they suffer from stress and burnout themselves, and so they end up becoming indifferent to those that they care for. This is so wrong.

The elderly deserve respect, consideration and compassionate care. It can be difficult for those caring for them to remember that these are people who have lived long lives, have worked for what they have and that many times, the person they are caring for gets just as frustrated with themselves as the caregiver gets with them.

Imagine living your life independently and then slowly or even suddenly, becoming unable to do basic things for yourself. It can be difficult to remember that the elderly have gone from being perfectly capable of caring for themselves and even others, to having to rely on others for basic needs. It can become all too easy to forget that the person we are caring for is just as frustrated as we get, that this person can become confused and that they are often struggling with depression.

It's important to care for the elderly, especially when they are seriously ill or suffering from a debilitating condition such as Alzheimer's or dementia, with as much compassion, empathy and respect as possible. I know that care-giving can be difficult and stressful, perhaps even depressing, but it's important to remember that you play an important role in this person's life and that they are relying on you - whether they want to or not.

Elder care can be demanding and stressful. And while it may be tempting to distance yourself or attempt to remain indifferent to your patient, I really feel like it is important to connect on a human and emotional level with the person(s) you are caring for. If you distance yourself from your patients, it can be difficult to meet their needs. Just make sure to also care for yourself while caring for your patients. But don't attempt to keep your distance.

You are meeting far more than physical needs - many elderly people are lonely, scared, depressed, etc - a compassionate caregiver who has connected can make a world of difference in the quality of life for an individual who is at the end of their life.

I currently care for two lovely elderly women. One is suffering from Alzheimer's disease and dementia and the other is suffering from congestive heart failure. Both of these women are very special and very dear to me. I know at some point, I will lose them. And I will mourn that loss. But I also know that I am a better person for having met them and being a part of their lives, I have learned so much from both of them. They are not only my patients, but my friends.

Chances or Choices?

Are you where you are in your life due to chances or choices? If you have to stop and think too hard about the answer to this question, perhaps you are not ready to live a life of authenticity with light and love. I'm not intending to sound harsh or as if I know everything, because I certainly don't know everything, but there is a certain level of self-awareness and self-honesty that is required to admit that a lot of things in our lives is due to choices of our own making.

When we can stop and be truly honest with ourselves and admit that we've made some not-so-great, even BAD, choices, then we can stop blaming chance and blaming others for our problems and the struggles in our lives and move forward. There is a certain amount of chance in life, chance can sometimes cause some degree of difficulty in our lives. But when it comes to chance, even when we cannot control our circumstances, we still can control our reactions or choices that result from chance events.

So, are you living a life of chance or choice? Do you feel like your life is beyond your own control? Or are you in control of your circumstances? When something happens that is beyond your control, do you make choices or do you simply throw your hands up and say "there's nothing I can do" and just let things happen? I beg of you, choose to live a life of choice. Allow no one and nothing to control you or your life, don't sit and wait for things to change, make the choice to change things yourself. And keep moving. 

Life, Exhaustion and Second Chances

After the crazy week we've had here, with Sweetie's heart attack, his hospital stay, getting him home, me starting a new job and trying to work around everything else going on, I'm definitely exhausted! I have come to the realization that there are many different levels and types of exhaustion. I think that there are at least three and then there are combinations thereof.

Physical, mental and emotional would be the three types of exhaustion and any of them can be extremely draining, but even more so, if you are dealing with a combination of the three. I'm not sure what level I'm at, I just know I'm very tired. I'm just feeling drained and slightly overwhelmed. A simpler word for what I am feeling right now, would be "stress." Yep. Definitely stressed.

Life has a funny way of throwing things at you when you least expect it and feel the least equipped to handle it. Knowing or suspecting something could happen and it actually happening are two different things. We knew that Sweetie was having some health issues and I have always worried about his health and the possibility of major complications, but actually knowing that he almost died is quite another story altogether.

All I can take away from this situation is this: Everything in life happens for some reason or another. I truly believe that we can learn or grow from anything that we deal with in life, whether it be good or bad. I feel like this has been a major wake-up call to pay attention to our health, to get healthy and to not take each other - or life - for granted. He has been given a second chance at life and it's been rough, but it's definitely going to be okay in the end, because it's enough of a motivator to not want to waste the chance we are given.

With that, I am now taking my exhausted self to bed with my Sweetie and I will check-in when I get another chance! Have a great weekend everyone!

An End to a Rough Week

My boyfriend had a heart attack Wednesday afternoon. It's been a rough week. His heart attack actually started late Tuesday night, but it didn't get bad enough until Wednesday afternoon for him to realize how serious it was and then he finally had me take him to the emergency room.

I picked him up from work, dropped him off at the emergency room, went and picked up my kids from school, then I went back to the hospital to find out what was going on with him after I handed the kids off to his sister. When I got to the hospital, they were getting ready to transport him to the Heart Hospital to have a cath procedure done on his heart and put a stint in where a blockage was.

So, I rode in the ambulance with him to the Oklahoma Heart Hospital and then waited while he was in surgery. I have never been so worried in my life! The procedure went well and after he made it out of recovery and was put into a room, I finally got to see him. He said, even coming out of anesthetic, that he was already feeling a TON better!

As we found out, he has not just high blood pressure and another blockage in his heart, but he is also diabetic with high cholesterol. He was released from the hospital yesterday and we had to fill six medications. No word from the doctor yet as to what they are wanting to do about the second blockage. I have had one of the craziest weeks in my life. Between worrying about Sweetie and taking care of kids, plus working, I found myself feeling a bit overwhelmed.

This means some major lifestyle and diet changes - for BOTH of us. But we are looking at this like a second chance and we're hoping to get it right and both of us get healthier. I am so thankful that we got him to the hospital when we did and that he made it through surgery just fine and I am thankful that he took this as the wakeup call that it is. Now, it's time for both of us to get some rest and start moving forward.

So, there's my ending to a rough week. How did your week go?

A New Year: New Goals and Another Chance

Another year has passed us by... we have left 2013 behind and entered 2014. The new year always brings with it, hopes for change and we often set goals, or "resolutions." We are two days into the new year, and I have yet to actually finish my "resolutions." Why are those resolutions so important?

If we were all honest, most of us don't actually end up following through with those resolutions and we end up feeling a great sense of failure about it. So, one might ask, what's the point? Why bother setting goals for one's self if one isn't going to even bother to meet those goals?

All of us have the desire to change something in our lives, even if it's not something major, perhaps a bad habit, a minor organizational issue, etc.. We always seem to feel the urge to make "resolutions" at the beginning of a new year to change these things.

The problem is, making a "Resolution" can seem like a "do or die" affair and we tend to push ourselves harder than necessary or we simply give up when we decide it feels too difficult. How about making those resolutions easier to keep? What if, we simply don't call them resolutions? How about setting smaller goals, marking them off as we reach them, and then aiming for an ultimate large goal, rather than trying to do it all at once and frustrating and discouraging ourselves?

Each day is another chance to get life right, each year is another opportunity to make our life what we want it. Are we simply struggling and trying too hard to "get it right?" Or are we taking each day, week, month and year as it comes, moving in the right direction, but not pressuring ourselves while we take the time to savor the good, learn from our experiences and make happy memories as well?

I leave you with this. In 2014, make your life your own. Don't worry about all you may not achieve. Instead, worry about making your positive mark on this world, learning from your experiences and enjoying life while you move towards your ultimate goals. A new day will begin tomorrow, and you will have another chance to get things right.

Here's to a positive 2014!

Day 1 of Green Smoothies

This is my "breakfast" this morning. If you've been following me on Bubblews, you know that I'm starting on doing Green Smoothies today. This is my first one. Progress has been made.

I will be making a more in-depth post about Green Smoothies later, so stay tuned!