Let Go of That Which You Cannot Hold Onto

Sometimes in life, we come to a crossroads with people or situations. We are faced with the choice of either continuing to hold on or to try to let someone or something go. This is the first step in healing from trauma or abuse, and it can also just be something as simple as needing to clear your "emotional clutter" or remove complications from your life to be able to live your best life in as healthy a way as is possible.

This might need to happen in a very direct and abrupt manner. You may need to make a conscious choice to get someone or something out of your life, choosing to go no-contact with an individual or choosing to drop a habit or something else. It can seem to come out of nowhere to the other person if it's an individual, they might even get angry with you for losing their access to you. In some cases, it's just a simple case of a friend or family member and yourself losing common ground and needing to go separate ways... there's nothing wrong with this either.

There's something very important that I've learned in life. Change is scary, but absolutely necessary. Sometimes people or things aren't meant to be in our journey until the end of our lives. Sometimes, to heal and keep growing, we have to let go of the things which we cannot hold onto, or we fail to grow and then fail to thrive. This can leave us struggling in survival mode, which isn't healthy or positive and will not lead to emotional or mental growth.

Even if it is not necessarily an unhealthy or negative person or aspect of your life, but you are sensing that it might be time to let go and continue with your journey... let go. Release the person or thing with light and love, give yourself permission to move forward, and simply continue in your journey. Don't carry old baggage with you or bring along people who don't want to be in your ultimate destination.

Remember the saying, "Some people are only meant to be in our life for a season, not a lifetime." If that season has passed - whether it's a person, a place, a thing, a habit, etc - gracefully let go and spread your wings and continue to fly. If we carry our old baggage with us on our journey, we inevitably will get pulled back into the same old places and situations.

Let go of that which you cannot hold onto, so that you can embrace what is meant to stay with you.

Letting Go Of The Things That Hurt Us

Life is hard. I mean, really hard. Often, we struggle through life, carrying our baggage with us and we simply muddle along until something makes us stop and set the baggage down and leave it behind. Some of us never set the baggage down, some carry that baggage through their entire lives - damaged, weighed down, causing damage to those that cross their paths.

When you're living with trauma, it's really easy to simply accept that the pain is just a part of life and so you begin to not even question whether or not that pain is NECESSARY. We don't stop to ask ourselves if we HAVE to carry that pain around, because we've just accepted that it simply IS. But, what if that pain isn't necessary? What if you could live your life without carrying a lifetime's worth of pain with you? Sounds amazing, right?

I am learning, after a lifetime of abuse and pain, that it's possible to let the pain go. But first, you have to be willing to let go of the things that hurt you - even if sometimes, the process of letting go of those things is painful. Sometimes, the things you are letting go of, are literal things... sometimes it's places, habits, even people. The process of letting go can be painful, but it's absolutely necessary if you're going to be able to move forward and away from the things that hurt you.

Repeating cycles, giving more chances, making the same choices over and over - all of this contributes to a negative cycle, it adds to your emotional and mental "baggage" and causes you to carry around intense pain. When this is a lifelong pain, it's hard to let it go, but letting it go is a vital part of your healing process. It's much easier to process your emotions and get your mental and emotional health on track if you let go of the things that hurt you before you begin trying to process - at a minimum, however, you let go of those things while you're working on healing.

You have a right to be safe, to be happy, secure - we all have a right to live our lives without pain, anger, fear or negativity. You DESERVE to be happy, to be able to love and be loved - in a healthy way - and you deserve to not have to carry around a lifetime's worth of pain. If there's someone or something in your life that's hurt you, that continues to hurt you - it's time to let it go. Don't keep holding onto the things that cause you pain - in the end, even though letting go might be painful, you'll be stronger and healthier for it.

If it's a person that you're struggling to let go of, you might feel guilty or want to keep them in your life out of a misguided sense of guilt or love. Don't. Sometimes we have to let go of people that we love, because they don't love us or care if they hurt us.You can love someone and not be able to have them in your life because it's just too painful. Do NOT feel guilty for this. Let them go with light, love and forgiveness... understand that their part in your journey is over.

This doesn't mean that you will never be hurt by people in your life in the future, but you can choose who to surround yourself with, what type of energies and emotions to surround yourself with. And that isn't a reason to feel guilty. In life, we have one chance to be happy, to be free. We have the right to be loved, to have peace, to be safe and have security. Only allow those in your circle that bring this to your life. Life is too short to be carrying around baggage and pain that can be unpacked and put away.