Let Go of That Which You Cannot Hold Onto

Sometimes in life, we come to a crossroads with people or situations. We are faced with the choice of either continuing to hold on or to try to let someone or something go. This is the first step in healing from trauma or abuse, and it can also just be something as simple as needing to clear your "emotional clutter" or remove complications from your life to be able to live your best life in as healthy a way as is possible.

This might need to happen in a very direct and abrupt manner. You may need to make a conscious choice to get someone or something out of your life, choosing to go no-contact with an individual or choosing to drop a habit or something else. It can seem to come out of nowhere to the other person if it's an individual, they might even get angry with you for losing their access to you. In some cases, it's just a simple case of a friend or family member and yourself losing common ground and needing to go separate ways... there's nothing wrong with this either.

There's something very important that I've learned in life. Change is scary, but absolutely necessary. Sometimes people or things aren't meant to be in our journey until the end of our lives. Sometimes, to heal and keep growing, we have to let go of the things which we cannot hold onto, or we fail to grow and then fail to thrive. This can leave us struggling in survival mode, which isn't healthy or positive and will not lead to emotional or mental growth.

Even if it is not necessarily an unhealthy or negative person or aspect of your life, but you are sensing that it might be time to let go and continue with your journey... let go. Release the person or thing with light and love, give yourself permission to move forward, and simply continue in your journey. Don't carry old baggage with you or bring along people who don't want to be in your ultimate destination.

Remember the saying, "Some people are only meant to be in our life for a season, not a lifetime." If that season has passed - whether it's a person, a place, a thing, a habit, etc - gracefully let go and spread your wings and continue to fly. If we carry our old baggage with us on our journey, we inevitably will get pulled back into the same old places and situations.

Let go of that which you cannot hold onto, so that you can embrace what is meant to stay with you.

The Things We Keep Inside

Childhood is hard. Adulthood is hard. Being a human being is hard. Being a DECENT human being is even harder.  It's impossible to go through life completely unscathed... no one can do it. Every single moment, every single experience we have... shapes the people that we become. This can be to the better or for the worse. I don't believe that people are born "bad"  or good either one... I think they are all born "neutral" and then their experiences and basic personalities shape them into the people they become.

For most of us, we're just you're average, garden variety good person. In my case, I'm a pretty good person who got handed several bad hands in life. I ended up being abused most of my life and now have to deal with the aftermath of being abused, which includes PTSD, dissociative disorder due to Complex Trauma and a host of other mental and emotional issues. The average person walking past me on the street would never be able to see or guess that I struggle daily with just getting up, being present in the moment and surviving another day.

So it is with the things we keep inside.

In the case of a few of my abusers, they hid a deep evil inside of them... a part of them that THRIVED on hurting other people, especially a defenseless woman less than half their size. In my case, I was abused in various forms throughout my entire life... I keep a lot hidden away from people that I encounter in daily life, casual acquaintances - anyone who isn't "safe." For me to let down my guard and show anyone the things I keep inside, it takes a long time and a lot of effort and trust - believe me, I'm not going to tell a brand-new friend all about my past or my feelings or thoughts!

Each of us carries "baggage" from our pasts with us as we go about our daily lives and we aren't typically unpacking and repacking it. Things get pretty scary if someone tries to mess with our inner selves, especially if that is how we are keeping ourselves safe. That emotionally distant person you know - they're not just an "unemotional asshole," they've usually been hurt badly and are trying to stay back from people and situations that might cause them harm.

Everyone has things inside them that we can't see. Sometimes it's good and just a way of protecting ourselves - although this can be taken too far... other times, it's something negative or evil that the person lets out for their own amusement at other's expense. Our inner selves are typically our true selves.. in my case, I've got an angry, scared inner child who's tired of fighting her demons... but she tries again another day, every single day.

I hide the pain, the anger, the frustration... and I continue on my way through this journey called life.. taking a little bit out at a time and trying to deal with it. I'm making progress, but my inner self is still extremely fragile. But I'll get there. And in the meantime, I'll keep things inside that I feel need to be kept inside in order to protect myself.