On Life and Words

I no longer have time or patience for negativity or interference from people who judge or want drama. If I am describing you, then kindly lose my contact information and that of ANY of my children and remove yourself from my life and theirs. My life is my own, as are my children's lives. No one in my immediate family (my children and I) need judgements, negativity or drama in any shape or form. I'm taking back control of myself and my own life. If you're still here when I'm done, that's great. If not, I wish you the best. #nomorenegativity #life #newbeginnings #igotthis #mommy #9kids #momlife #nomoredrama #positivity #movingforward #goals

So recently I made a pretty drastic (for me) change. I moved 2 hours from where I was living and moved into a 5th wheel camper. There were multiple reasons for doing so... But I'll get into those at another time. But for now... I'm adjusting to living in a smaller space with my littles and my teenage daughter. We had too much "stuff" anyway, so now is as good a time as any to learn to declutter. I'm currently waiting to start a job. My 3 year old had surgery a week and a half ago to get his tonsils and adenoids taken out. His post-op appointment is at the 2 week mark, so then I can focus on going back to work. Money is tight, stress is a little high... But for the first time in my life, I'm finding peace and don't feel a sense of dread about what the future holds. I've taken to calling the camper my "tiny house" or "gypsy trailer." I'm viewing this as an adventure.. Not yet another restart. It's actually both, but I'...

Yesterday, I turned 36. I have really rather struggled about being in my 30's in the last few years. I probably will continue to do so off and on. I struggled because I felt like I needed to have met so many "milestones" and levels of success that "most" people have done by my age. I struggled because I felt like I was getting "old" and I've basically "wasted" my life. (Please notice the frequent quotation marks for later reference.) I realized something today... every single one of us has a reason for being here. We all have a purpose, even when we don't know what it is. We live the lives we live for a reason. Whether I've made the choices or not,  I'm right here where I am meant to be. My life is being what it is supposed to be. Because I matter. Everyone in this world matters. There is no "right way" or "wrong way," everyone is where they are for a reason. We make choices, for right or wrong, and they...

On April 20th, 2018... my life changed (again!) in a split second. My ex-husband called to tell me that his wife had been in a car accident while bringing our 3 boys down to my house. My heart. My world. Literally stopped. Everything suspended for a moment as I struggled to wrap my mind around what I was hearing and tried to grasp the severity of the situation. There are no words to say in a situation like this. Nothing comes to mind. You can't focus on a single thought or word, but also grasp at every single word or thought. Struggling to hang on to anything you can, to try to make sense of something so utterly unexpected as to be unbelievable.  In the ensuing chaos, I realized that I'd been in the shower when the call came through.... had I? Really? Did I remember to shut the lights off? Did I hang my towel? I'd left conditioner in my hair and one leg unshaven as I threw whatever clothes I had on and my new husband and I rushed out the door to get to the accident sce...

I have had a recent epiphany. After several months of stress and many unexpected changes, I've found myself in the position of finally needing to slow myself down. As someone who struggles with severe anxiety, as well as chronic pain and arthritis, I find myself having days that are truly a struggle to get through.  I find myself struggling to get showered and changed for the day, struggling to keep up with two toddlers and seven other kids who all need something different from me. The simplest tasks keep me busy, I struggle to get everything done that I feel I need to get done. When it hurts to walk because your body is basically attacking itself or your chest is hurting and you can barely breathe due to being anxious or stressed, the effects can be completely crippling. I miss feeling like a normal person, I miss being able to do whatever I wanted or needed to do without feeling like my own body hates me and is imploding on itself. When I feel as though I'm ready to jump o...

Just because someone receives foodstamps doesn't mean that they don't work or that they're lazy. I wish people would stop with the ignorant assumptions.  There are huge amounts of people who receive foodstamps who DO work. Many of them are in the class that most people forget about "the working poor."  With the high costs of living in most areas and the lack of decent paying jobs, it's almost impossible for many people to live without some type of assistance. No matter how much they work.  There are then those who DON'T qualify for foodstamps that make a "liveable" wage but they have to pay higher costs to get medical covzerage or pay for medicines. Some people have to pay high payments on a not worth it car, just to be able to get to that low paying job to be able to survive. And then they have huge costs to be able to have medical coverage or insurance or to pay for their medications. It drives me crazy that people assume people who receive...

If everyone who claimed to personally see foodstamp recipients buying lobster and steak with foodstamps actually saw this, then the entire foodstamp program would be shut down already. One or two stories heard 4th or 5th hand doesn't make a truth. "My cousin's uncle's pet parakeet's owner's sister's grandma's brother saw it, so it must be true." #sigh #smdh #9kids #foodstamps #reform #welfare #families