Freedom and Faith

Today is The 4th of July, America's Independence Day. I hope that each and every one of you is having a safe and happy Fourth of July, while you're busy celebrating American freedom.

While you're going about your celebrations and cookouts, watching fireworks and spending time with friends and family... Give a thought to those who gave their lives for our freedom, give a thankyou to those who have served or are still serving .

Freedom isn't free. It can come at a heavy price. Never take it for granted. Have a safe and happy 4th of July and remember not to drink and drive.

Divorce and Parenting

Divorce is extremely difficult, even without children. But if you have kids, it's even more difficult. Many divorced parents don't realize how much their fighting or discord actually affects their child(ren.) It can be difficult to be neutral or diplomatic during or after a divorce, but if you have children with your ex-spouse, it's of utmost importance that you set aside differences, anger and fighting and learn to at least be civil with your ex. 

If there are unresolved issues in your former relationship or if you and your ex-spouse have a history of dysfunction, it can be extremely difficult to come together and be successful at co-parenting your child(ren.) In cases like this, it can come down to a simple matter of, one of you needs to let things go and be the bigger person. Even if you feel like you might want to lash out at the other parent or want to talk negatively about the other parent to your child(ren,) it's extremely important for the well-being of everyone involved that you avoid doing this. 

The old saying "If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all," definitely applies here. If you find that you can't put a positive spin on something concerning the other parent, if you find that you can't be diplomatic, then sometimes saying something like "We really can't discuss this right now" is best. Many times, children will feel the urge to attempt to "play parents" against one another, or they may even be holding out hope that their parents will get back together.

Avoid negative confrontations with your ex-spouse, try to come to some sort of compromise when it comes to the children or parenting the children, and definitely avoid letting your anger or resentment show to your children. Anger, resentment and other negativity affects children, it can confuse them, upset them, make them sad, angry and cause many other negative effects. 

Divorce and parenting isn't easy, but it can definitely be done, if both parties can do their best to set aside differences, past negative history and agree to do what is ultimately best for the children. Remember, many have divorced and successfully parented their children, as well, many have divorced and made things more difficult for the children. If divorce ultimately becomes a reality for your family - forgive the oxymoron, but - try to be a successful divorced parenting story.

Chances or Choices?

Are you where you are in your life due to chances or choices? If you have to stop and think too hard about the answer to this question, perhaps you are not ready to live a life of authenticity with light and love. I'm not intending to sound harsh or as if I know everything, because I certainly don't know everything, but there is a certain level of self-awareness and self-honesty that is required to admit that a lot of things in our lives is due to choices of our own making.

When we can stop and be truly honest with ourselves and admit that we've made some not-so-great, even BAD, choices, then we can stop blaming chance and blaming others for our problems and the struggles in our lives and move forward. There is a certain amount of chance in life, chance can sometimes cause some degree of difficulty in our lives. But when it comes to chance, even when we cannot control our circumstances, we still can control our reactions or choices that result from chance events.

So, are you living a life of chance or choice? Do you feel like your life is beyond your own control? Or are you in control of your circumstances? When something happens that is beyond your control, do you make choices or do you simply throw your hands up and say "there's nothing I can do" and just let things happen? I beg of you, choose to live a life of choice. Allow no one and nothing to control you or your life, don't sit and wait for things to change, make the choice to change things yourself. And keep moving. 

Roll With The Changes

Life is funny. One minute you're on the straight and narrow path and you've got a plan, the next you've come upon a giant tree in the road and one side of the road has a cliff on it and the other is water. So what do you do then? Jump off in the water and hope you can swim? Do you dive off the cliff and hope you magically learn how to fly? Or do you try to find a way to go over that tree in the road?

What if I told you that, sometimes, it's a combination of the three? Sometimes you have to swim, sometimes you have to fly... other times you have to figure out a way over or through your obstacles. Life is full of changes. Indeed, in a single moment, things can change in the blink of an eye and it can seem that all of your well-made plans evaporate right before your eyes.

It's really easy to get discouraged and frustrated when things happen to mess up your plans, especially when it seems like you'll never get out from underneath the current crisis or stress. It's easy to tell someone else to "keep your chin up" or "don't give up hope," but it's quite another to take that advice to heart when it's you that's facing changes and uncertainty. But, sometimes the best way to get through something is to take your own advice, even if you have to fake it until you make it.

Nothing in life, not even bad circumstances or stress, is permanent. Things change so quickly, it's amazing how quickly we get ourselves worked up and stressed out... if only we'd be patient and see that something new and better is right around the corner, as long as we stay receptive to it and move with the changes. To get through change, sometimes you just gotta roll with it and keep holding on to hope and faith. Barring your own death, there's nothing in life so absolutely terrible that you can't find some way to get through it.

So, I suggest you get out there, work on climbing over that tree, jump off that cliff and fly or jump in the water and swim. Just keep going. There's always something good around the corner. 

Living Authentically

Are we true to ourselves, our hopes, our dreams? Do we live within our proclaimed values and morals? Do we feel like we can be our true selves or do we feel the need to wear a mask or to be someone we are not? A life lived in disguise, lived based on what others think we should do, is a life wasted.

I wish someone had told me that years ago, instead of learning it the hard way.

For too many years, I lived within the ideals of what I believed was best, simply because it was what everyone expected of me. I attempted to hide my true self and attempted to avoid confrontation or doing anything to "rock the boat" in attempts to make others happy. I found myself hiding my true thoughts, feelings, beliefs and ideas. I wore a mask that I never took off, even with those who were supposed to be closest to me.

That's absolutely no way to live.

I found that in trying to please others, I pleased no one and I made myself absolutely miserable. It's like I kept waiting for permission to be myself, for permission to pursue my interests, kept waiting on something to change so that I could be happy or be myself. And then I discovered, I was absolutely miserable, I was unhappy and I had the power all along to change my life and be happy. I found out that it's completely okay to be myself.

What an amazing discovery! I can be myself and if there is someone who doesn't approve or like it, then it's their problem and they don't belong in my life. I can live my life as myself, live for each moment, be happy and be at peace. This is what I call living authentically. I can be truly myself and be true to my beliefs and reach for my goals. I think it is much better to live this way, leaving no room for negativity and naysayers, than to live behind a mask, locked in an invisible box and feeling trapped.

It's an amazing freedom to be yourself and live your life authentically. I encourage anyone to try it. Find your true self, live as your true self, live authentically... and find the happiness that you deserve.

It's All UP From Here!

Wow, this has been a crazy few years. Starting in 2010, when my marriage began to crumble right after my youngest child was born, then meeting my new love, whom I've now been with for 3 years, to starting college and now being a year away from graduating with my Associate's degree in Psychology, it's been a rough ride. Finally, last year, the May 20th tornado of Moore, Oklahoma took out our life as we knew it. Then, a month ago, my boyfriend had a massive heart attack.

I had an epiphany this morning. Even when life is at it's lowest point and even when you seemingly can't go anywhere, the only option becomes to move forward and go up from there. So, even though I've been down for the last few years, it's all UP from here. Our life path is our choice, we CHOOSE the direction we move in. Starting today, I'm choosing to go forward and up.

While I haven't been writing much the last several months (obviously, I've been horrible at keeping a blog!), I am now more motivated than ever to start writing again and KEEP writing. For me, writing is an outlet, but it also allows me to connect with others on a deeper level. Find something that's important to you and make it a priority in your life. Family and friends are a given as to what should be a priority in your life.... I'm talking about other things that are important to you.

Find your own path, choose to move forward and realize, it's all up from here. Seriously. When you get down to a certain level, the only choice is to go back up. 

Thoughts on Negativity

Negativity is one of the many pitfalls of life. Too often, we allow that negativity to consume us and ruin our day, we find ourselves dwelling on the negatives and forget all about anything that might actually be positive. I'm here to remind you that it doesn't have to be that way. If you find yourself dwelling on the negative, you'll find yourself living in a bubble of darkness, you'll find that you have no enjoyment in life.

Focusing on the positive will balance out the negativity in your life, it can even help to minimize it. All you need to do is simply find one thing each morning to be thankful for in your life. If you can find one positive thing to focus on, then this helps to keep negativity at bay and you won't drown in the waves of negativity.

Negativity will always be there, it's a natural part of life, but you needn't feel like that is all there is in your life. Simply choose to focus on the positive and you will find that life doesn't seem as full of negativity. Find a life that makes you happy, find something that you can be happy about, that you can be thankful for. Please find something good about the present, the here and now and let go of negativity. You will find, as you focus on more positivity, that the negative begins to disappear or not seem so daunting and you will find peace.

Life, Exhaustion and Second Chances

After the crazy week we've had here, with Sweetie's heart attack, his hospital stay, getting him home, me starting a new job and trying to work around everything else going on, I'm definitely exhausted! I have come to the realization that there are many different levels and types of exhaustion. I think that there are at least three and then there are combinations thereof.

Physical, mental and emotional would be the three types of exhaustion and any of them can be extremely draining, but even more so, if you are dealing with a combination of the three. I'm not sure what level I'm at, I just know I'm very tired. I'm just feeling drained and slightly overwhelmed. A simpler word for what I am feeling right now, would be "stress." Yep. Definitely stressed.

Life has a funny way of throwing things at you when you least expect it and feel the least equipped to handle it. Knowing or suspecting something could happen and it actually happening are two different things. We knew that Sweetie was having some health issues and I have always worried about his health and the possibility of major complications, but actually knowing that he almost died is quite another story altogether.

All I can take away from this situation is this: Everything in life happens for some reason or another. I truly believe that we can learn or grow from anything that we deal with in life, whether it be good or bad. I feel like this has been a major wake-up call to pay attention to our health, to get healthy and to not take each other - or life - for granted. He has been given a second chance at life and it's been rough, but it's definitely going to be okay in the end, because it's enough of a motivator to not want to waste the chance we are given.

With that, I am now taking my exhausted self to bed with my Sweetie and I will check-in when I get another chance! Have a great weekend everyone!

An End to a Rough Week

My boyfriend had a heart attack Wednesday afternoon. It's been a rough week. His heart attack actually started late Tuesday night, but it didn't get bad enough until Wednesday afternoon for him to realize how serious it was and then he finally had me take him to the emergency room.

I picked him up from work, dropped him off at the emergency room, went and picked up my kids from school, then I went back to the hospital to find out what was going on with him after I handed the kids off to his sister. When I got to the hospital, they were getting ready to transport him to the Heart Hospital to have a cath procedure done on his heart and put a stint in where a blockage was.

So, I rode in the ambulance with him to the Oklahoma Heart Hospital and then waited while he was in surgery. I have never been so worried in my life! The procedure went well and after he made it out of recovery and was put into a room, I finally got to see him. He said, even coming out of anesthetic, that he was already feeling a TON better!

As we found out, he has not just high blood pressure and another blockage in his heart, but he is also diabetic with high cholesterol. He was released from the hospital yesterday and we had to fill six medications. No word from the doctor yet as to what they are wanting to do about the second blockage. I have had one of the craziest weeks in my life. Between worrying about Sweetie and taking care of kids, plus working, I found myself feeling a bit overwhelmed.

This means some major lifestyle and diet changes - for BOTH of us. But we are looking at this like a second chance and we're hoping to get it right and both of us get healthier. I am so thankful that we got him to the hospital when we did and that he made it through surgery just fine and I am thankful that he took this as the wakeup call that it is. Now, it's time for both of us to get some rest and start moving forward.

So, there's my ending to a rough week. How did your week go?

One Year After the Tornado

Well, it's been a year since our world was turned upside down and life as we knew it ended. I can think of nothing in my life that has affected me or my family as drastically as the May 20th, 2013 tornado in Moore, Oklahoma. In a single instant, due to circumstances beyond our control and a natural disaster, our way of living was destroyed and our city was destroyed.

The outpouring of love, support and emergency efforts from not just our home state, but our country and even the world was amazing. It was awesome to see that there were so many people out there who cared about us and others who lost their homes and way of life. Those emergency support efforts were very much appreciated, not just by us, but by everyone affected by the tornado.

While my children and I didn't lose our home specifically, we lost almost everything inside, our vehicle was ruined, and the kids' school was demolished. My children lost classmates and friends, which has proven to be devastating. Due to the tornado making our home unlivable due to water damage and wind damage, we have relocated from Moore to Oklahoma City and then, finally, to Edmond, Oklahoma.

It has been a year of adjusting and healing. I know we're not completely there and I know we have a long way to go, but we are slowly finding our way and we are finding some semblance of normal again. We continue to keep all of the victims in our thoughts and prayers and we continue to hold hope for the full healing and recovery of Moore and those affected.

I feel like my kids and I were blessed and lucky beyond belief, and we have a chance to live our lives fully and with light and love. When you go through something traumatic and devastating, it's important to realize that you need to live life to the fullest and to take every chance you can to enjoy life.

Finding joy in the smallest things and choosing to make each moment count is the most important thing anyone can do. Going through something terrible and fearing for your life is one way to ensure that you don't waste your life. So, a year after May 20th, I am thrilled to be alive and I am so thankful to be given the chance to live life to it's fullest.

Thoughts on Support Groups

I ran a Yahoo Group for many years, with many difficulties over the years. Some of it was stuff simply between members, other stuff was between admins and myself. Over time, the group simply fizzled out, especially as it couldn't take the pressure of issues I myself (as the group owner and primary admin) was having and disputes about the group and focus of the group.

I see here, a great group with a potential to be a completely awesome place for support for everyone.  What troubles me is the seeming discord between admins and former admins, not simply about how much one should pull their own weight or what each one should do, but also about the purpose or goal of the group.

To me, a place of support, is just that. A place of support. Where, members support one another through common issues and realize that they are not alone. I may have this entirely wrong or my memory might be off, but I don't remember during my time running my Yahoo groups ever expecting an admin to be there at all times, sometimes, this just isn't humanly possible. This is where the other members of the group step in and support one another. Again, just my two-cents, for whatever that may be worth.

If someone is having such serious issues that they are considering taking their own life, that is really scary and perfectly understandable why people would want someone to be available at all times. And while this is a wonderful idea and I fully support it, there are simply times where it isn't going to be possible.. This is why links to the Suicide Hotline and other resources are posted frequently and prominently in any support group (online and offline), because it is almost impossible to always be there for someone. This puts an insane amount of pressure on everyone to try to "be there" for everyone else and to be supportive - but it can cause a lot of stress and un-necessary discord. At the end of the day, we are all human beings.

The responsibility of preventing someone from committing suicide is no one else's but the individual considering it. All anyone can do is try to talk someone out of it, contact the necessary emergency resources to seek help for themselves or another suicidal person and keep talking to the person. But, IF, god forbid, someone actually does it, there usually is no blame to be placed on those who are left behind. Too many times, I've seen large amounts of guilt in survivors of suicide, thinking that if they'd said something more or done something more, then it wouldn't have happened. That kind of thinking scares me, because it's a very unhealthy form of self-blame and places a lot of responsibility on someone's shoulders - that is the type of thinking that can destroy a person mentally and emotionally.

While running a support group and being part of a support group requires a certain amount of give and take, we all have lives outside of whatever group we are in - this doesn't just include support groups, this can include hobby groups, clubs, etc. I find it admirable that everyone would like to consider the group a job, if not in the literal sense, but as a responsibility, It is unfair to everyone - including one's self - to place that kind of pressure on ourselves and others.

What I would like to see from a support group is to see all members be there for one another as much as they can, with minimal issue between admins or other members of the group. I would like to see a fully supportive environment for everyone, while remembering at the end of the day, that we are all human beings and that we are all here for the same reason.

I've learned a lot in the years since I initially began my first Yahoo group for depression support. And I've learned one thing - depression, bipolar, all those other issues, they're VERY REAL. Those issues are not in my head or yours, and it's wonderful to have a supportive place to be without all the drama or discord that tends to already be in our individual personal lives, within our families, etc. I remember a time when I was way too harsh with others for their seeming "drama" or "failures" and forgot that they were also human beings with the same issues that I had, which was why we were all there.

Recently, after a 3 year seperation and a divorce that has dragged on way too long, finding myself a single parent, ending a relationship of almost 3 years and trying to go to school fulltime, along with dealing with my children and each of their individual issues, I have found myself at the lowest point I have **EVER** been at. It's a scary and very lonely place to be..... a place I only THOUGHT I had been and understood before this.

During a time when we should be supporting one another and trying to be there for each other, while getting support for our own issues, this is not the time to be having discord or disputes. My heart hurts to see this, because we are all human beings with real thoughts, feelings and emotions - fighting some of the very same demons and probably all feeling a little alone even when someone else is there.

Just That Time of Year...

Well, I suppose it's just that time of year. Since right before Christmas, my kids have had Strep, a random cold and now another virus that mimics the flu. I guess it's normal for this time of year, especially when one has children of various ages and they attend public school. With so many little ones in the house, it's no surprise that we all get sick at once or one right after the other.

I think the best advice anyone can give another parent during this time of year is this: Make sure you and your kids get adequate amounts of sleep, make sure you stay well-hydrated and eat less junk food. Dress weather-appropriately and avoid spending too much time in extremes of temperature one way or another.

And, of course, make sure you wash your hands frequently with soap and water and keep your bed linens and towels washed and clean. Throw away toothbrushes after each illness and replace them to prevent likelihood of reinfection. Also, try to avoid eating or drinking after one another.

We're gonna get over this sickness this go round, and then hopefully we can avoid anymore for the rest of this season!

Here's to a healthier 2014, living in light and love! 

Coming to Acceptance

I know that there are truly very few things in life that we can control. For many of us though, we tend to try to control almost everything or feel the need to. Sometimes, we feel the need to try to control others in our lives or control their actions. Here's a tidbit of information that I've just recently learned - you can't control another person and their actions, all you can control is yourself and your own actions or reactions.

Coming to acceptance about the fact that I cannot control as many things as I'd like, however, is another story. It has been no easy task to accept that I'm not in charge of things, especially because I tend to be a bit bossy and perhaps even a bit of a control freak. However, slowly, with time - and a lot of frustration and pain - I am coming to realize that I can't control a large part of what happens around me.

I can't MAKE things happen the way I want them to all the time, all I can do is keep moving towards a positive goal and take one step at a time until I finally achieve it. This means that, to some degree, I have to occasionally give up that control that I so desperately feel the need to have and let things fall into place as I walk the path I know I need to be on.

I may not be able to control everything that happens or how it happens or the results, but as long as I'm moving in a positive direction when things happen, I won't find myself getting so derailed that I can't get back on track. So, there's my acceptance. I am accepting that I can move myself any direction I want or need to, but there are going to be obstacles in my path or events that seem to be discouraging me.

Accepting that things happen, and often for a reason, is a good way to stay on track and accept that I cannot control everything. I accept things in my life that are both positive and negative, because each person, place, event, etc - has a lesson to teach me and there is something that I can learn. Life is all about learning from our experiences to become the person we are meant to be, why not accept those lessons with grace and patience?

Living in Light and Love in 2014!

Forgiveness and Moving Forward

When it comes to past hurts and anger, it's very difficult to forgive and let it go. I think that many times, when we are struggling with trying to forgive someone else, we often are so caught up in our anger or hurt feelings that we then feel guilty for feeling angry or hurt, so we end up sabotaging our attempts at forgiving the other person.

I think that sometimes too, when someone has hurt or offended us, sometimes their actions are a reaction to our own actions. And then, when we are struggling to forgive them for their offense, we can't do it unless we have acknowledged where we have wronged them as well.

I don't know if true forgiveness is always possible. Sometimes the hurt or anger is so deep, it can seem impossible to let the offense go. But, if we are to love others and ourselves and to move past the hurt and anger, forgiveness is an important step. I am not suggesting that one should blindly forgive and forget. But forgiveness is a big part of moving forward, even if you are aware that you should proceed with caution in trusting the person again.

But this much I do know - If we are to successfully forgive another person and move forward, we first have to be able to forgive ourselves. We may need to forgive ourselves for causing hurt feelings to another or for being inconsiderate of their feelings, we may need to forgive our initial reaction to another's actions that caused them pain on top of the pain we caused us. If we really want to forgive another and move forward, we need to remember to turn the forgiveness inward as well.

And once we've given forgiveness, then the offense needs to be truly forgiven. This means that we can't keep dwelling on the action or reaction that caused pain or anger, we need to move past it and not keep throwing the incident up in the other's face or holding it over their heads. The point of forgiveness is to acknowledge the hurt or upset that something or someone has caused and then to move past it and try to repair the relationship. 

Endings and Beginnings

So, after almost 3 years, my most recent relationship has ended. I wasn't really surprised. It was a crazy, up and down kind of relationship. I think I'm most surprised that it lasted as long as it did. This relationship was one of those insane, feel-an-instant-connection, dive head-first into it kind of relationships. One that seemed OH so perfect and wrong all at the same time.

But, sometimes, even when all of the emotions are right and the commitment is there, a relationship simply can't withstand the pressures of life and it can't continue. When you have two people who are not only complete opposites, but also at completely different points in their lives, it is almost impossible for the relationship to succeed.

In the end, in a situation like this, sometimes the only way to go is down, or, more dramatically, the relationship collides straight into a brick wall. I think that's what happened here. In the end, there was no room for compromise on either side and neither of us could see where the other was coming from. Our individual goals were nowhere near one another's and we simply couldn't continue as we had been without compromise. In  the end, there was no compromise made.

I am saddened by this and I will miss him terribly. I really and truly had thought we had a chance at a future together. And while I don't really understand why things ended the way they did and why we couldn't work it out, I know that, perhaps, it just isn't the right time for me to be in a relationship. If I had one word to describe this man and what he means to me, it would be, HOPE. Through meeting him, loving him and being loved by him, I felt hope through most of it.

To me, this relationship brought hope at true happiness, real love and a life with a supportive significant other. I can never thank him enough for all that my relationship with him has taught me - through the good and bad, it taught me that we ALL deserve to be loved, we ALL deserve to be an equal partner in a relationship and to HAVE an equal partner, I learned that fear has no place in our lives and I learned that the only way to make a relationship work is through give and take and compromise.

So, while my relationship with him has come to an end, I know that it is another step in my own personal journey and I know that every story eventually comes to an end, but it's our job to write a GOOD story, rather than a BAD one. I take from this relationship hope and faith in love again and know that there is a time and place for everything in one's life, and that sometimes, it's simply not the right time.

I take the positives from this relationship and leave the negativity. I take with me the knowledge and feeling that I loved and was loved, even if it was only for a little while. I have hope that I might have that again someday, when the time is right. And I also know that people enter our lives for a reason and they leave our lives for a reason. Sometimes paths cross again and sometimes they don't.

Here's to endings and beginnings in 2014!

A Life, Interrupted.

Have you ever felt like an event in your life has so totally derailed things that your life has actually been interrupted and basically suspended, indefinitely? I have had this occur a few times in my life and have discovered something - I don't care for it much at all. I think that sometimes, these interruptions, so to speak, can be external events, internal events, relationships beginning or ending or just about anything that causes emotional trauma.

So what does one do, when they are living a life interrupted? The first thing to do is to realize that your circumstances do not define who you are. Relationships do not define who you are. Events in your past or present do not define who you are as a person. You can live your life despite your past or even present, as long as you remember that this interruption, or suspension, is never permanent. As long as you do not allow the interruption to paralyze you into inaction, you can, indeed, pick up and move through life again.

A life interrupted is difficult. Sometimes we are waiting on a certain event or waiting on circumstances to change, before we are able to begin picking up pieces and continue moving on. This is difficult to do - waiting is often a stressful task and it can seem to drag on forever. So, while you're waiting, find something positive and productive to focus on and do. For some of us, this can mean writing a blog, keeping a journal to track progress or feelings, learn a new hobby or skill or volunteer to help others.

Any positive changes in your life are steps you are taking to end the interruption that has occurred. Meet each obstacle head-on and keep moving, even when it feels as though your progress has been slowed or come to a halt. You might eventually come to realize that even when you thought things were stopped, you actually moved forward without realizing it. And meeting a negative event or emotion in your life with a positive and determined attitude will cancel out the negativity and open up your options, clear your mind and heal your heart.

Here's to living an uninterrupted and positive 2014!

3 Days into The New Year...

So, we're three days into 2014. How's your year starting out?

My new year is starting out rather oddly. I have a feeling that I am coming up on some major decisions about some personal relationships, which I am a little nervous about. I am also getting ready to start a new semester in college - since each semester has become progressively harder, I know that this one will be no less challenging. I am going to really need to watch myself for the time being and make it a point not to let the negativity and difficulties get to me.

As I've said at various points in my life, and now, as a reminder to myself and all of you out there reading this: "I am stronger than my challenges and struggles. I will not let negativity win. I am not my past." This goes for everyone.

Keep on living in light and love for 2014!

A New Year: New Goals and Another Chance

Another year has passed us by... we have left 2013 behind and entered 2014. The new year always brings with it, hopes for change and we often set goals, or "resolutions." We are two days into the new year, and I have yet to actually finish my "resolutions." Why are those resolutions so important?

If we were all honest, most of us don't actually end up following through with those resolutions and we end up feeling a great sense of failure about it. So, one might ask, what's the point? Why bother setting goals for one's self if one isn't going to even bother to meet those goals?

All of us have the desire to change something in our lives, even if it's not something major, perhaps a bad habit, a minor organizational issue, etc.. We always seem to feel the urge to make "resolutions" at the beginning of a new year to change these things.

The problem is, making a "Resolution" can seem like a "do or die" affair and we tend to push ourselves harder than necessary or we simply give up when we decide it feels too difficult. How about making those resolutions easier to keep? What if, we simply don't call them resolutions? How about setting smaller goals, marking them off as we reach them, and then aiming for an ultimate large goal, rather than trying to do it all at once and frustrating and discouraging ourselves?

Each day is another chance to get life right, each year is another opportunity to make our life what we want it. Are we simply struggling and trying too hard to "get it right?" Or are we taking each day, week, month and year as it comes, moving in the right direction, but not pressuring ourselves while we take the time to savor the good, learn from our experiences and make happy memories as well?

I leave you with this. In 2014, make your life your own. Don't worry about all you may not achieve. Instead, worry about making your positive mark on this world, learning from your experiences and enjoying life while you move towards your ultimate goals. A new day will begin tomorrow, and you will have another chance to get things right.

Here's to a positive 2014!

Welcome, 2014!!!

Well, out with the old, in with the new. Another new year begins. With it, the hope that this year will be better than the last. Welcome, my new friend, 2014. I don't know about the rest of you, but I'm VERY excited to start a new year. To me, each new DAY is another chance to get life right. Life isn't easy, we struggle through daily and each of us much find our own path and make the choices that are right for us.

I know I am not perfect, my life isn't perfect. If I were completely honest, I feel like I fail at life and doing the things I need to do a large portion of the time. I know that sounds like a "downer," but it's simply honesty. And I think if most people were more honest, we'd all be more willing to admit that we are flawed and imperfect, that we struggle with SOMETHING on a day to day basis. What does all of this have to do with the New Year?

Well, this year, I am hoping to find the sense of balance and find my organizational skills, both things that I feel have eluded me all of my life. I am going to focus more on living in the here and now, while also making changes one tiny step at a time, to keep myself and my children on track, and I am going to go after the things I want for myself and my children.

So, welcome to 2014. Come on in, 2014, you are welcome here, because this is a new day, week, month and year. This is the first day of the rest of my life and I'm going to get this right, one way or another.
To all of you out there struggling, feeling lost, you are not alone. Most of us, if we're honest, feel that way at times, keep jumping right back in and make your life your own. Now is the time. Get started. A new year, a new beginning!

Thank-you From Tornado Victims

On May 20th, 2013, our lives were changed forever as a tornado ripped through our town and devastated our homes, our families and our schools. Many of us lost almost everything, some of us lost everything, some lost loved ones. There were many who stepped in and brought us hope in wake of the devastation in our lives. The donations of clothing, were put to very good use. The donations of gift cards helped us to get the things we needed to replace and enabled us to put whatever cash we had towards the things we needed in the immediate.

All of us send out a heartfelt thank-you. Not simply for the donations of clothing, gift cards or other "things," but also for the hope that was sent with it. In the midst of a disaster, it can be extremely difficult to know which direction to turn, what step to take next or how to cope. Simply knowing that there were people who cared about us and were willing to put forth their time, effort and money to help total strangers brought a sense of hope and a sense of peace.

Thank-you all so much for all of the love and support that was sent along with your donations and your time. Because you not only helped us to move forward, you reminded us that we are not alone. Which is just as important as any tangible item or financial assistance that can be provided. Simply having someone to talk to after the disaster was a big help.
The volunteers from Red Cross and Salvation Army were absolutely wonderful... Bringing us snacks, bottled water and Gatorade, along with hot meals. These people worked tirelessly while we worked on cleaning up and getting ready to move forward, providing nourishment, emotional and mental support, and they can never be thanked enough.