On Life and Words

On April 20th, 2018... my life changed (again!) in a split second. My ex-husband called to tell me that his wife had been in a car accident while bringing our 3 boys down to my house. My heart. My world. Literally stopped. Everything suspended for a moment as I struggled to wrap my mind around what I was hearing and tried to grasp the severity of the situation. There are no words to say in a situation like this. Nothing comes to mind. You can't focus on a single thought or word, but also grasp at every single word or thought. Struggling to hang on to anything you can, to try to make sense of something so utterly unexpected as to be unbelievable.  In the ensuing chaos, I realized that I'd been in the shower when the call came through.... had I? Really? Did I remember to shut the lights off? Did I hang my towel? I'd left conditioner in my hair and one leg unshaven as I threw whatever clothes I had on and my new husband and I rushed out the door to get to the accident sce...

I have had a recent epiphany. After several months of stress and many unexpected changes, I've found myself in the position of finally needing to slow myself down. As someone who struggles with severe anxiety, as well as chronic pain and arthritis, I find myself having days that are truly a struggle to get through.  I find myself struggling to get showered and changed for the day, struggling to keep up with two toddlers and seven other kids who all need something different from me. The simplest tasks keep me busy, I struggle to get everything done that I feel I need to get done. When it hurts to walk because your body is basically attacking itself or your chest is hurting and you can barely breathe due to being anxious or stressed, the effects can be completely crippling. I miss feeling like a normal person, I miss being able to do whatever I wanted or needed to do without feeling like my own body hates me and is imploding on itself. When I feel as though I'm ready to jump o...

Just because someone receives foodstamps doesn't mean that they don't work or that they're lazy. I wish people would stop with the ignorant assumptions.  There are huge amounts of people who receive foodstamps who DO work. Many of them are in the class that most people forget about "the working poor."  With the high costs of living in most areas and the lack of decent paying jobs, it's almost impossible for many people to live without some type of assistance. No matter how much they work.  There are then those who DON'T qualify for foodstamps that make a "liveable" wage but they have to pay higher costs to get medical covzerage or pay for medicines. Some people have to pay high payments on a not worth it car, just to be able to get to that low paying job to be able to survive. And then they have huge costs to be able to have medical coverage or insurance or to pay for their medications. It drives me crazy that people assume people who receive...

If everyone who claimed to personally see foodstamp recipients buying lobster and steak with foodstamps actually saw this, then the entire foodstamp program would be shut down already. One or two stories heard 4th or 5th hand doesn't make a truth. "My cousin's uncle's pet parakeet's owner's sister's grandma's brother saw it, so it must be true." #sigh #smdh #9kids #foodstamps #reform #welfare #families

Okay. So. For the many of you out there who think that giving families boxed and canned food of the government's choosing to replace food stamp benefits is a great and wonderful idea - let's be completely realistic. IT WON'T WORK. PERIOD.  Why? Because the problem isn't providing people with inexpensive food to fill a need. That's an excuse the elite are using to justify further punishing those who dare to be lower class and lower income than themselves. Implementing a program to distribute food to food stamp recipients and cut funding is absolutely asinine and completely just not going to work. It's just another example of how off kilter our society is... it's another war between the haves and have nots. The cost of implementing a program like this would probably cost double to triple what current benefits are being distributed. It will be inconvenient. They'll have to implement measures to prevent fraud, open new agencies or departments to impleme...

The United States Government has decided that it's time to reform the SNAP Program. Known as "food stamps," the Supplemental Nutrition Assistant Program has long been under fire as being a form of "welfare," with many opponents of the program arguing that SNAP is just another over -budget program that is being exploited by those committing fraud to receive benefits. So, there are some in government who have proposed giving recipients a box of of food each month while slicing monetary food purchase benefits by half of their current rates. They are suggesting this would be a cheaper option that would better help recipients than the ability to purchase their own food with their own and their family members' dietary requirements and desires in mind. Many, who are unfamiliar with the program, current struggles in the low and middle income bracets, are arguing that this is just the boost that our government budget and national economy need to help force those ...

https://youtu.be/ujvUR1jGcUg

I'M A MOM. Those 3 words by themselves,  not such a big deal, there are lots and lots of moms in this big world of ours.  So, let me add to that. I'M A MOM... WITH 9 KIDS. There. That's the short and simple of my complicated reality. I have 9 awesome children... who might just end up being the death of me.  9 kids is a lot. I mean, a lot. There's never a moment of quiet in my house... if it's quiet, the kids are either gone or sick or something.  We're always overrun with kids and chaos. There's always something going on and something needing to be done.  Life with kids is messy. Life with 9 kids, even messier. There are 9 amazing human beings that I'm responsible for raising into responsible, compassionate, productive adults. That's a huge undertaking, and it can be overwhelming at times. .. especially when everything happens all at once.  9 kids means dishes and laundry are constantly piling up, there's clutter everywhere, no one has enough spa...

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As moms, even when we're doing everything "right," we tend to feel an irrational "guilt" that we're not good enough. It's tragic,  really, that most poor parenting comes from our own insecurities and unreasonable guilt.  Even when there's truly an issue with our parenting,  that irrational guilt or thinking we're the worst will keep us from seeking outside help. Not just from fear of being judged, but because we're already judging ourselves.